Love Is Not All Around

regarding to my previous post, i just found out that couple is not our (Islam) culture. so i've made up my mind, once again. since i dont have anybody on my mind at the moment, i've decided to not couple. ahaha. i have decided to REMAIN SINGLE until somebody step into my life. somebody special, i mean. not just another guy who just want to have fun. this decision is made also because i'm confused and i need to rest a little more longer. so, my determination this year will be NO MORE BOYFRIEND FOR ME. yes, this is it. i will be married to someone by 2017. hahahahaha apakan. okay that was joking. if there is really someone God has created for me, then i will accept my faith blindly. AHAHAHA. again, a joke. here's some poems i remembered, and loved:

~

I'm tired of your coldness every time when I'm right here.

I'm not precious.

Whatever I do, it's always bad.

I can be only meaningless person.

Love can't go across a divided gap,

Though we're close to each other,

it seems so distant.

And in my heart, it's so lonely.

Before the flower will fall, the last petal will wither,

please open your heart for me just once.

Before it's too late, don't let love fade away.

Can you please open the path for love...

just once?

I don't know what wrong I am.

I don't understand why he doesn't love me.

I hope someday, he will know...

how beautiful love is.

~

I want to know how true love is.
I want to know how we can find love and when it happens.
I want to know if people like me
Can find true love.
And for how long...
that I have to wait for someone...
who will come to release solitude and uncertainty...
of a person who's so tired?
And for how long until the day...
When that person will see my value?
When will he walk into my life?

~

Maybe it's because heaven assign us,

Maybe it's because of the destiny,

that scripted and destined us to be bound.

Maybe it's because something inspire me to do wrong,

that I made you cry

and I have never thought...

how much I hurt someone.

I just want to turn back time..

I want to make amends for everything.

For the thing that people like me...

have ever made a mistake, can you forgive me?

From now on, in every ways...

and everything...

I will be with the truth that still goes forward.

I hope it will not be too late...

with my breath that I have left.

I don't know what blinds me

and make me lost my way.

When I turn to see in the past, I know how wrong I am.

The pictures of you and me

Everything that you gave me.

The place where we walked together.

Let it be just the past in the box that was left behind.

I pretend to forget about it, but why...

it's not better.

Because just closing my eyes,

I still always see you.

There're not any night
that I can forget who I still love.

If I use my head to remember anything, I may be able to forget you.

But I use my heart to memorize everything about us.

No matter how hard I try,

what I can do is just leave everything around me.

I want to leave you far away

but my love is more deep-rooted in my heart every time.

What can I do to wake up

from the night that I dream that I still have you.

although in the fact, I don't have.

What can I do, so that I can forget you.

so much for my happy ending.