another year..

i'll love you until these butterflies in my stomach dies whenever they mentioned your name.

was meant to be a romantic sentence. sekalinya..

talor jua "butterflies" =_=

ani update main2 saja. not a proper update. janji berisi blog. muhahahahah!

ah yes..

i'm going to myzah's house later, with the mate. last night he was pretty gilababi when i said i can't make it. serious all the way. said "mana saja tah ko" throughout the night. tamparan wah, tamparan. beibun pun inda dapat.

andddd, we suck in planning. really. i hope everything goes well. and no more dramas between the couple, or should i say, "ex"?

goshhhhhh. i'm sensing that this year's raya is going to be uneventful. VERY uneventful. with everyone busy with their significant one, i have no available friends anymore. =_=" and yet, another year to bear a deepest darkest secret. (psst, it's about love. shhhhh!!)

bah!

myzah, leena, fyza, get ready for pepsi twisttttttt! aku inda mau minum yg lain. pepsi twist saja okay!

He Used To Be.

I'm so upset.

Yesteryears, we were so close. We took pictures together, we drank together and we wandered on the street until late night together. We’ve done pretty much everything TOGETHER.

This year, fortunate enough, he has found a perfect girl who perfectly suits him. Well, he still hung out with us, still shared everything. He seemed like he didn’t change, much.

However, we went to a friend’s house where we used to cam-whored together. So I took out my camera and said, “let’s update our album.” And guess what?
He said,

“inda ih. Takutku gfku salah paham krg.”

Which means, he rejected me because he was afraid that his girlfriend might misunderstand us. Apparently, his girlfriend is a jealous motherfucker bitch who would snap if he’s with other women.

Utterly preposterous I could say. We’re practically family! You can’t just kick your sister out of your house because your girlfriend might be jealous of her. That’s BEYOND ridiculous. Its not like we’re getting married, right? It’s not like I want to take him from his girlfriend. In fact, I knew him long before they became a couple! If I really do want him, we would by now be a couple, right? I gave him the “brother” medal, and if I were thinking to marry a brother, that’s so incest! His girlfriend knew that we’re so close, why would she think such way? oh I know why. Because she wasn’t even thinking. She doesn’t have a brain to use.

I’m writing this furiously! I don’t care if he or his PERFECT girlfriend read this. I know he would make up to me but seriously, don’t bother. I won’t see you again, and you better ask God to be forgiven because I know I won’t.

What’s good of having to found someone you love if it means to take you far away from other people who loves you? What’s good of having someone who loves you if it means to hurt the people you care in the first place?

**p/s: If you're so afraid that people would misunderstand us, you should probably dispose pictures that we both took together. All of 'em. I don't care. All I want you to know is, I love you, brother.

What Does Hari Raya Means To You?

Hari Raya..

it's when young people play fireworks all day..

it's the time when people wants to be the most beautiful.. or the most handsome among all..

it's the time when furniture stores get the most wealthy customers..

it's the time when women cashed out all money to go to the best beauty salons to get their nails done, even if it costed $30 per hand.

it's the time when people buy so much cakes and biscuits, and sweets, eventhough they knew there are odds that biscuits will be wasted in the end..

it's the time when tailors are busy and charges their customer with high prices..

it's the time when people start to arrange their furnitures..

COME ON!!

what is it with you people? why do you need to do all that? what does "celebrating raya" means to you?

are you visiting people to ask forgiveness or are you comparing houses?

are you going to people's houses to show off?

and what's with all the beauty?

what, if not beauty, cannot celebrate raya is it?

and about furniture, seriously? what about the last year's furnitures? did you throw it already? my god!

now, welcome to her house. i don't think you would step your feet in her house, am i right? because comparing to your house, her house is totally lost. because she's not beautiful enough. look at her dress! you're too rich to enter her house. her hair, is nothing to you.

see? how could you lavishly celebrate your raya, thinking that there are people who celebrate their raya like this? they don't have what you have now. but they aren't complaing. hardly. they can't complain how they have no cupboard to put all the craps you display on your cupboard, they have no shoes. how could you?!!

anyway, selamat hari raya to all muslimin and muslimah..

***actually, i don't know if that girl is even a muslim. i just google "poverty". but, you get my points, right? =P"

Good Listener

Good Listener.

**Actually, I sort of don’t get why I have to write the title twice. oh well..

I want to talk about a good listener. First of, as if you don’t know, Listening is an essential part of communication, and it is different from hearing. Now, what exactly, is a good listener means?
A good listener is someone who can listen to a person without interrupting, and truly hear what they are saying to them. That doesn't mean that they do not offer their own insight or anything, but it means that they tend to listen more than talk.

I understand that to be someone’s good friend, you have to be a good listener. Well, there have been said that best friends are the one who are with you through joy and pain, right? So I assume, being a good listener helps you to be there with your friend through pain.

Problem is, nobody likes others problems to be shoved to their faces. Oo before you say “that’s just selfish, a good friend would never feel burdened by listening to their friends’ problem.” Well welcome to the world immature little babies. Face it, in this technology-advanced world, everything is “about me”, you know? Everybody is self-centered. No matter how saint-ish they look, or act, deep down, they’re still selfish. Even if they said they would take a bullet for you, do anything for you yadda yadda. There’s gotta be something they think about themselves before you. its just how this world operate, its normal.

Now, there have been numerous websites teaching how to become a good listener. Do you really think it’s that easy? By reading it t through, you’ll be a great listener overnight? Hell no. However, as strong as I objected this whole websites steps, don’t get me wrong, I’m just saying, it’s easier to read than to put it into practice, we shall discuss the it.

First step is to Place you in the other person's shoes. Meaning to say, try to put yourself into the same situations your partners going through. Well, as I said above, everything in this world now is “about me”. Say if, you put yourself in the other’s shoe, are you sure that you won’t interrupt their “moments” by saying, “if I were you, I would do this, do that instead of doing this, doing that.”? They would definitely ask you consequences of why you’re doing, why did you choose to do that etc. Then, the whole conversation is about you.. See what I mean?

Another step is to Stop talking/be silent. Meaning to say, try to listen very carefully of what they want to talk about. I’m not sure about this. Why? Because if you don’t involve in something, big chances that you’re going to fall asleep. Seriously!

Another one is to follow and encourage the speaker with body language. Meaning to say, try to nod sometimes between the conversations. Hey, if were the speaker, I would really slap you if you go for silent but nodding. It clearly shows that you’re not interested to hear my story! You just nod and nod, but you’re silent! And how could I know if you really listen to me? Besides, nodding while I’m practically crying on your shoulder is like, mocking me. Damn it, don’t nod! Not only it so cliché, it’s damn annoying too!

Say if you’re not much of a listener, but your partner’s really down, and you want to do something about it. Would you go for cheering them up instead of seeing them miserable? Say if you go for cheering them up, wouldn’t that just perfectly depicts how UNinterested are you in hearing their problems if they’re about to open up? And what makes you think they’re up to your jokes, rather than think about the solutions for their problems?

So if someone is not a good listener, can you say that they are not good friends? Isn’t it too selfish to judge? Are you being a good friend by judging and forcing someone to listen to you? see, then again, the world is really “all about me”. What the hell..

Now, wrapping up. I’m 18 years old girl, who write randomly. I am not an expert in anything. So, sorry to tell you that I honestly don’t know what are the conclusion. HAHAHA!! I’m so funny, I knowwwwww right!! =_=''''

Anyway, its just my opinion. I may right and I may as well be wrong, but I hope somebody could come up and tell me my view is shallow. With of course, better arguments. I don't want someone who just emerges from nowhere and say i'm shallow without pointing their reasons. That's just.. =_=''

I have been breathing for 18 years already and one thing I know for sure is that, mothers are always good listeners. Sorry for wasting your time.

Perfect Stranger.

of Song: Perfect Stranger
Artist: 鄒承恩 Zou Chen
Album: Black & White 痞子英雄 OST

Dive from the blue sky
And to see who I really am

Facing my desire
with the answer
to start again, be brave again

What will stop in my way?
Who will challenge the fate
The test of pain and wrath

Are we living in circus?
Are we beat up by curse?
Cus I'm sure will take the race

( give my beat alive )
Holding my will
Cuz I've never met someone like you

( take my breath away )
Cus' I'm blind in your smile
Using tears buryin the lie

Oh~ Pretty Stranger
Rock my soul and world with a gentle kiss
Fly~ makin me fly
To eternal
Oh once again, the love we make
Until the sun has risen
Our life will bond together
Oh my perfect stranger

Would you dream about me?
Could you spend time with me?
I crave for your lip life time

breathing in frozen fever
standing in burning winter
all the misery need you by my side

( give my beat alive )
Now seize the time
defeat the weak and break my runaway

( take my breath away )
Cus I'm conquered by your eyes
and I'm losing all my mind

Oh~ Pretty Stranger
Rock my soul and world with a gentle kiss
Fly~ makin me fly
To eternal
Oh once again, the love we make
Until the sun has risen
Our life will bond together
Oh my, perfect stranger

( give my beat alive )
Now seize the time
defeat the weak and break my runaway

( take my breath away )
Cus I'm conquered by your eyes
and I'm losing all my mind
Oh~ Pretty Stranger
Rock my soul and world with a gentle kiss
Fly~ makin me fly
To eternal
Oh once again, the love we make
Until the sun has risen
Our life will bond together
Oh~ Pretty Stranger
Rock my soul and world with a gentle kiss
High~ makin me high
To eternal
Oh once again, the love we make
Until the sun has risen
Our life will bond together




song perfectly related to me. em, ofcourse, exclude the kiss part. see, we haven't really kissed, we haven't really held hands.. we haven't done ANYTHING! but truth part about this song? the part where i'm losing my mind and all that. seriously, i'm dyingggggggggggg.

the more i want to let go, the more i'm stuck. tsk. why is this happening to me?! should i be blamed? for what? damn it!

Afterlife - Avenged Sevenfold

Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen
so unsure but it seems, ’cause we’ve been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

I see a distant light, but girl this can't be right
Such a surreal place to see so how did this come to be
Arrived too early

And when I think of all the places I just don't belong
I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far

I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here

A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain
Can leave this place but refrain, ’cause we've been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

This peace on earth's not right (with my back against the wall)
No pain or sign of time (I’m much too young to fall)
So out of place don't wanna stay, I feel wrong and that's my sign
I've made up my mind

Gave me your hand but realize I just wanna say goodbye
Please understand I have to leave and carry on my own life

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I’d hope you might
take me back inside when the time is right

Loved ones back home all crying ’cause they're already missing me
I pray by the grace of God that there's somebody listening
Give me a chance to be that person I wanna be
(I am unbroken; I’m choking on this ecstasy)
Oh Lord I'll try so hard but you gotta let go of me
(Unbreak me, unchain me, I need another chance to live)

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I’d hope you might
take me back inside when the time is right


Jeremy said,
"i'm sorry, if only its not my exam time, i would visit you like, RIGHT NOW. I'm sorry you have to go through this on your own. Cry your heart out babe, don't act as if you don't have any feelings at all. it'll make you go crazy. "

"no, i don't cry in public. thanks."

"is there no one could lend you their shoulder? is there no one who would understand you?"

"no."

"too bad, i do. i know you're daunted, dispirited, etc. who doesn't, right? it's okay to cry. you may smile, laugh all you want, but deep down, i know you're dying. you just a fragile girl after all. you don't have to act strong.."

"its not okay to cry. i don't need your sympathy."

"okay, whatever. just so you know, i'm here if you ever need someone to talk to. and remember that, no matter how, no matter what, i will always right beside you, supporting you cos you know, i love you."

and the moment he said that, i cried. thanks Jeremy. you're the best.

i'm not.

i'm not that girl..

who worried about dresses..
who worried about skirts..
who worried about lipsticks..
who worried about make-ups..
who worried about how do i look..

i'm not that girl..

who gives a damn about my nails..
who gives a damn about my hair..
who gives a damn about my shape..
who gives a damn about my sleep..

i'm not your typical girly girl who bitch and whine.

i'm the girl..

who cares about my hygiene..
who cares about my pepsi twists..
who cares about my books..
who cares about my laptop..
who cares about my handphone..
who cares about money..
who cares about Manchester United..
who cares about DVDs..
who cares about my friends..

i'm the girl who spitted on barbie's face.. i'm the girl who pulled barbie's hair..

i'm the girl who loves you.
i'm not your chosen girl..
i'm not your dream girl..
i'm not your princess..
i'm not.
i'm not.
i don't give a damn of whether you like me this way..
i don't give a damn of whether i shouldn't behave this way..
i don't.
i don't care if you don't like me.


EMO TAH KU NAH. GILA!!



ah yessssssss by the way.

i'm the girl who KILLED barbie because she stole my shampoo and i just found out that barbie was a transsexual and she got a very thick leg hair. and i hate her because she bought me a pink bag.