Happy Birthday To Raihani Binti Md Rosli

29th march. 0930 am.
Got a phone call, informing that I can start coming to work tomorrow. So happy, I have a job ON MY 18th BIRTHDAY. then went to Miri.

29th March, 7pm
Got home. Feet was swollen like an elephant’s, ribs feel like breaking, back’s hurt, eyes feel like popping out.

29th march 1130pm
was planning to make a capi2 entry but as soon as I lay my body on the bed, fell asleep. Very nice sleep, got very nice dream, everything’s nice.

30th march, 12 am.
Confessing to xx, and he said that he has been secretly in love with me too. He tilted his head and we’re about to kiss. I close my eyes, then…….. BANG!!!!!!!




Opened my eyes. I was all alone in my room, my phone is ringing like crazy, messages coming continuously. The eff words coming out of my mouth, repeatedly.
I was like this:






Alaaaaaaaaa, sikit lagi tu!!!!! Kacau eh! anak sapa kan kacau ni!!! Shuwwweeeeeet!




These are the responsible parties for breaking my sweet dream. (and some unknown numbers.)

The effing caller: *******
The messagers:

1. afiq
2. didi a.k.a salwani
3. haji mohd faisal
4. azri
5. fizu
5. danny
7. mudmud a.k.a al-amin
8. surayani

The messages after these are not entertained, because I was busy forcing my eyes to sleep and hoping to resume the dream that I just abruptly left.
8. yayah
9. fuad

30th march, 0230 am
eyes not sleepy anymore although my back hurts like hell! Massaging my swollen feet. Again, I’m alone, so I just lay there and measuring the length of my beloved spiders’ web at my ceiling. I put my phone under my pillow because it still beep and beep. (I silence it.)

30th march 0340 am
I think I fall asleep at 0330am approx.

30th march 0554 am
In Fahrenheit’s concert, backstage, sitting with Aaron Yan. OMG he is shuaiiiii. The rest also shuai. But I’m more interested to aaron lah. Talking, hugging and smooching. All of em. Join their photo shoot. I was about to shoot a photo with aaron as a couple, got very nice make ups and everything’s ready. When the cameraman was on the brink of pushing the button………

BANG!

Thanks to Hajah Siti Norismah. She gave me a message! Again, the effing words. But this time, I don’t know why my eyes so heavy.

30th March 6 am
My mum entered my room. “ma, aku kan tidur jap, banguni aku pukul 8 lalu krg ah.. sama lau rajin, misscallkan urg yg bagi message tu. Lau rajin lahh.”

30th March 8 am
“bangun! Inda ko keraja?!”
“karang dulu.. jap gi.”
“bah mandi tarus.”

30th March 0930 am
“Ya Allah, inda ko jadi kah?”
“pukul berapakan ni?”
“pukul 10.”
I rushed to my bathroom, shower and everything. I was putting on my lens, I got a call.
“inda payah tah ko dtg hari ani. Ada urg ganti udah.”

**edited

30th March 0340 pm
after finish writing this entry at 2pm, i slept. i think, "the annoyance is over and i could continue my life peacefully." BUT NO IT ISNT JUST YET! i was awaken by my brother, brutally, only to tell me there's women outside, wanted to meet me. EFF WORDSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
"why did my effing 18th years old birthday which is supposed to have effing BBQ and things, celebrated like My effing Super Sweet 16, would turn effing upside down?!!! EFFING STUPID LAR! stop waking me up already can?!"

anyway, that women was my ex's mum and his sis. i was outraged, you know i always have this attitude when someone waking me up. and i still mamai, don't know what to say, don't know what to do. i just say thanks and return to my house. WTF!! i think she must say like this: eh so rude, no shake hand ah. see her face, just wake up, so horrible. and her clothes, where got polite girls using that type of clothes. so skimpy! sleeveless and so short shorts!

OMG, i must have been labeled as bad-mannered. after this, i shall wear baju kurung and jubah at home, for fear that i have any unexpected visitors.

oh yeah,
at this moment, i really want to meet HAJI MD FAISAL who is sooooooooo effing GENIUS, sending his mother to give me the present. eff! eff!!!!!! anyway, thanks for the present and i have yet to open it. =D what's with the wrapping paper? no orange?! i hate pink... =p thank you.

T_T

You reckon, how many eff words coming out of my mouth.

Loads.

Feet like elephant, ribs broken, back hurts, eyes tired. Sleep, awaken, sleep, awaken, sleep, awaken, rushed to bathroom, then work cancel.

Thanks guys, this is the most unforgettable birthday I’ve ever had.




Seriously, thank you for remembering my birthday. Sorry for the eff words. And to these two guys, one is my penpal (considered as penpal ka?), and one is my beloved dearest mate.

Happy 18th Birthday To Nesh/Red.Selamat menyambut hari jadi yang ke-18.Buleh putarkan lagu? Hahahahaa!Lagu rah right side of my blog ah. Dengar tia!Nada hadiah ah. Aku bagi ko bintang saja di-langit. Semua ko punya tu.Kalau ko inda nampak aku, ko liat saja bulan. Ada tu mua ku. Mijin saja.Shuwheeeeeet! Assalamualaikum. Sayonara. Tc and Peace. ;)

I have thesis I need to complete, but I do this. thanks to you!

After 11.59 pm, the world will celebrate a birthday of superstar a girl named Raihani or her name when I first meet her, orenjiiro and better known as nes. It’s her 18th birthday, a year older and finally, she reached her legal age. It’s been 6 months since I added her MSN, and it’s been three months since I developed a strong affection towards her.

i bought a big teddy, but she doesn’t like it. wtf? It costs me effing $57, goddammit! All girls love teddy but her! I guess she must me some transsexual, she is a man. That is why. Anyway, I gave it to my sis. (because she doesn’t want to give me her address, hou ma fan! Do I look like a bad guy to you? I won’t come to your place lar please. I have important classes to attend.) anyway, happy birthday.

p/s: I’m mad, she promised to stay up and webcam, but she didn’t!

Flashback:
I miss my sisters. Years ago, we were celebrating our birthdays together. There are always cards. Not the one that we could buy in stores, the made it themselves. Now, everything has changed. Thanks to yayah, anyway. I miss them no matter wherever they are, whatever they do. I hope that they will not forget our moments together, even if they got new friends, which is bound to happen.

p/s: sorry Jeremy. Eh, where got promise.. I DID NOT lah. I said, “we see lah how.” :p

p/p/s: since this is my 18th, FOR GOD SAKE, i'm EIGHTEEN now, and reached my legal age ( i keep on saying that this day, *sigh*), i dream of having friends over, BBQ, parties, or family gathering. and which part of my dream come true you ask? NONE. my mother is working until ten, my father is enjoying himself in front of his laptop, my brother is locking himself in his bedroom, my aunties are working and not here, my friends? don't even bother to ask. there's not even chicken on fire. no smoke, NOTHING! they can't even take a day off to accompany me through the day. after this day, no one will ever care about me anymore. i'm growing older. imagine if my life stops at this day. maybe i'll die in my sleep, under my precious blanket. no one will care. i just rot under it until the smell comes out. then they will realized that i'm gone. ='(

forgive me if i'm being melodramatic. trust me, this is the suckiest effing day of my life. the most distressing day.

No Inspiration

You know what are artist fears the most?


NO INSPIRATION!

I have no inspiration.. I want to create a new skin, but I don’t know what to create. Oh God, this is not happening! i sat for hours in front of my computer with my beloved applications on, playing with Adobe PS, but i cannot think of anything.



anyway, i use GIMP, Adobe PS and Trellian Webpage to create a skin. i planned to try Amaya and buy Dreamweaver. Trellian is nice, GIMP is complicated and Adobe PS is just AWESOME.


tell me what skin should i make next?

if only Jeremy is here, he could tell me what theme i should do. too bad he's on vacation. =/ i miss his face. duh!

maybe i should make a Manchester United skin.

A derisory entry.

ini yg aku tak gemar ini... if you hate to read some vulgarities, just press the close button and come back next day. or not, i don't really care.

Manchester united KALAH

Sial jua man.utd ane,udah jua lwn liverpool kalah pas2 lwn fullham pn kalah jua.wahahaha.mana tia c.ronaldo cocksucker atu n rooney dickhead yg fan man utd banga2kn ah?hahahaha mengamah ja man.utd ani!! Loser. .untuk peminat man.utd jgn kn bg alasan man.utd kalah pasal drg bg peluang ok hahahah.alasan inda munasabah itu:)

Seriously, do you still need a translation for this?


Thanks to the spammer, I came across this site.. i don't like to spam. i want to defame you without keeping my true identity a secret. because spammers are cowards. they spam without their true identity.

okay, back to the point. the entry is about a preposterous comment from a dim-witted guy. I’m not really an extremist of Manchester United but, I do support them. Since he triggered my rage by saying “c ronaldo cocksucker”, here I go, blasting him back.

First of all, since you’re so idiot, I want to disclose the true meaning of LOSER. According to New Oxford Dictionary, LOSER is someone who is NEVER successful. According to Wiki, LOSER is someone who tried so hard but NEVER succeeds. According to…. Wooops, nevermind. You’re too stupid to understand anyway.

We don’t give suchlike dumb excuses, okay? We have won loads of major honors, the 2 or three times defeat won’t bother us much. I just sympathize with those clubs who tried so hard, I mean, yeah, SO HARD to defeat the United. They even see United as a great challenger. The ratio of United losing is smaller than (insert club name, preferably the one you support). What say you? Can you tell who the real loser is?


Oh FUCK! I forgot how stupid you are. The possibility of you to understand this entry is so small. I have to repeat what I have started all over again, in MALAY.

Kenapa ko suka sangat United kalah? Is it that hard to defeat them? hohoho I knew it. macam JARANG kan United kalah? So it’s a phenomenon. Well, read this: SO WHAT? sekalinyaaaaaaaaaaaaa? Bukan kau yg main punnnnn. Ko sibuk2 kenapa? Bukan kau yg pegang piala atu pun… kalah manang durang, bukan kau yg kana bayar. Cocksucker? Dickhead? Please lah! Really? Atu saja yg ko tau? Lame lai.. They play durang main lagi steady wah dari kau! Tantu jua United banggakan durang. NAMANYA STEADY! since ramai urg minat United, ko saja kan minta perhatian kaaan, membuat post mcm atu… woohoo. Pathetic! ko mau urg flame kau ka? Ko mau blogmu famous just pasal one entry? Aku inda pulang ada masalah dengan kau tapi tolong jaga perasaan org. hal2 yg sensitive ani, keep it to yourself wah saja. Paham ko kah? Ganya manang beberapa kali, atu pun kan dibanggakan. Sadang jua.. ganya United kalah dua tiga kali, atu pun diucap loser. Siapa nah yg loser? Siaaaapa nah? Kira sendiri. Kalau kau inda cakap pasal ronaldo, inda wah ku marah ni.. malas tah ku kan gagau.. ko ucap apa ka, ko ucap apa kahhhhhhh, skati mu lah. ani ko sabut lagi ronaldo. FUCK YOU. MACAM TAH IA SAJA YG MAIN. United inda bergantung arah ia saja kali ah. Ia main yg terbaik saja. Urg lain yg kata ia steady. sampai ia kana guard. Sekaaaalor. Kenapakan excuse kami yg durang bagi peluang? Mun banar cana? Sian jua kamu…… kami bagi peluang, baru kamu manang. Lau inda bagi, inda manang. Sian eh…… sapa nah loserrrr???? Malas tah ku kan ceriitaaaa. BIAR TIA WAH DRG KALAH KA, MANANG KAH, INDA USAH GAGAU. Damn kau ni.

Astaghfirullah…… message from me: bola itu bulat. Haha apakan.. inda pulang ku marah, ganya jangan diucap bah ronaldo. ayangku bah tu. XD!!!!!!

Hotel 626

yesterday i was introduced to a new fucking game. its Hotel626. i want to recommend this game to everyone particularly to my mate. if you are not interested, please, for my sake, click the website.. here. i'm not saying its fun. well, you see for yourself. you tell me.

and, remember, the website will only open between 6 pm to 6am.


to AREEF, FYZA, and MYZAH. and HAFIZ (if you read this).

please play. please?????? then tell me about it, okay?

*theeee heee heee* evil laugh.

Changing and Changing.

I CHANGED MY SKIN AGAIN!

do you like it?

but there's problems.

Wah lao!!! How come my page took like eternity to load? Why? Is it because I use too many pictures, or script, or is it because that daxmn Meta filter? Or is it because my page is tooooo cute? hahahaha. Truthfully speaking, I don’t know. I think that Meta filter scripts are cool. But then I tried viewing my page using Mozilla, the Meta filters aren't working! I also aware that my visitor column is apparently ON THE RIGHT-HANDSIDE. Oei, I coded it on the left, stupid.

-_-"

Never mind. My page is cute. Got ribbons everywhere. i love my page. wohoooo... how did I do that? How did I transform my page from AVERAGE cute (yes, average. I won't say my codes, my designs, are TOTALLY ugly.) to an ASTONISHINGLY cute?

Simple answer: because I am a genius. XD

Joking. I did not write the code in just one night, okay? I spent 2 days to sketch the codes, and then make it tidy, spent hours designing the buttons and all the images, and hours webcaming with JEREMY. Fortunately, it’s expensive to call here. Otherwise Jeremy would call like, every night!

Okay, enough with the crap. I’m tired, my hands feel like no hands (if only you can understand..), and my butt became flat. I want to take some rest. BUT before I switch off my laptop (which is never going to happen because I used to leave it on all the time), I want to upload a picture. This cute creature looks like my mate. Cute! (yeah, every bizarre creatures look like him to me. cute. I love bizarre mutated creatures.)

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the right one is my pet, the well-known pet in the world, mr. reefious. i just LOOOVE the eyes. cute! and if you wonder what is that creature on the left, its Bugsy. its a Guinea Pig celebrity, mind you! its real name, something with Harr lah. i forgot. but its name initiated with letter H, if i'm not mistaken. it acted in Bedtime Stories, with Adam Sandler, my imaginary husband. Mr Bugsy is mr Reefious's idol. he wanted to look like it, so he went through plastic surgery which costs $1000. i'm broke. T_T

Wealthy or Poor? Take Your Pick.

If I were to choose, would you want to be a wealthy person or a poor person?

What do I think?

Another interesting way to spend my time during the holiday. and an interesting topic to debate.



I would definitely opt to be the wealthy one. Who in this modern era would choose to be a poor person? I believe everybody couldn’t resist money. Money is not a problem but no money is always a big problem.

Now, why would I choose to be wealthy person?
If we live in dramas or movies, perhaps it is okay to be poor as long as you have a pure heart. Let’s just face it, okay? These days, everything involves money. There’s no such thing as “I can be happy too even if I’m poor”. It’s a crap told by those losers who never want to endeavor with the intention of making their lives better. If you cannot afford a piano but you have enough money for your daily groceries, that is not what we call poor. Poor is something you see on the streets, like the beggars. If you ask them would they want to be wealthy or maintain the live they lead now, what do you think their answer would be? Furthermore, how could you be happy if you’re poor? There would be some dispute between you and your family about money. No money will make people stressed out, and when people get stressed out, they will easily enrage to everything.

Some people say that money can change you. Indeed, money can transform you from an unknown tedious and hideous girl to a hottest girl in town. Soon, you will be the spotlight, the It girl. If they say money could also change you to someone awful, I have to say sorry for my indiscreet that, I am very much object. That is a bigoted opinion of the superficial people. Money does not and CANNOT change one’s personality. Say, if the person is an awful person, then he becomes a millionaire overnight, he will still be an awful person the next day or maybe worse. Say, if one is a very benevolent man, then he becomes a millionaire just overnight, he will not turn into an awful person. Nevertheless, he will be more cautious seeing that by overnight, he who has nothing turned to someone who has something to be taken care of. He will be more guarded because the fact that when he is poor, he caught no eyes and when he is rich, he will catch the eyes of bad men. He shouldn’t be assumed as self-centered because he merely avoids any possible deception attempts.

The wealthy people also normally stereotyped as one who need not to work and eventually will turn into a fat, old, spoiled personage. In reality, wealthy people are the one who is diligent compared to the poor. Their bodies became fat industrial units because they can afford more foods than the poor. They plausibly also have no time to exercise as often as the poor. Say, if you are so rich and have so many well-known companies to run, can you unconditionally trust your assistants? Just sign wherever you need to sign without reading it thoroughly, then sleep?

Some people also said that if you are rich, you could be a greedy person. How is it possible? Think about it. You earn like 20k for each day, would you even trouble yourself for a dollar? For goodness sake, of course you wouldn’t! You are too occupied to think about ways to expand your businesses; you would have no time to even look at a dollar. On the contrary, the poor barely make $200 a day. So when they have a chance to earn more money, albeit using dirty scams, trust me, they would.

Finally, read this: big comfortable mansion complete with swimming pools, securities and maids, expensive branded outfits, entrance to the elite parties, exotic breaks whenever you feel tired after work, perfumes that smells good, a big limousine, luxurious SPAs, which one of those would you turn down to own if you were to choose? For me, that is what I label as happiness.

Violet (Song Lyrics and a Father's Memories)

Carolyn's Essay For LOVE IN A STAVE competition hosted by Jeremy.

Violet (Song Lyrics and a Father's Memories)

i really love (like crazy, mind you!) her essay! therefore, i demand you to read it!

here it goes:


==========


Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place,
suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace.
Suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste;
it all revolves around you.

I recall the day of your birth with fondness; the way your cries penetrated the walls of the delivery room to the waiting area outside, where I was looking forward to the doctor’s happy news. When I could finally enter the room, I remember dashing to your mother’s side and pecking her on her forehead before I started playing with you. You grabbed my finger with your tiny hand that day; I remember it because the world stood still for that one minute, while you had me entranced by your innocent gaze.

You were the most beautiful baby girl I’d ever laid my eyes on, and I was so proud of having the honour of being your father. Your mother’s name was Ruby, so I thought it apt to name you Violet.

And there’s no mountain too high, no river too wide
Sing out this song and I’ll be there by your side.
Storm clouds may gather, stars may collide;
but I love you until the end of time.

You used to cry a lot when you were growing up. I supposed that was to be expected; you were born with a slight touch of autism after all, I should have known from the pamphlets that change affected you more than anyone else. Even though I was impatient at times and struck at you unnecessarily in spates of anger, parts of me tried to reign in my temper for your sake. The other parts just refused to acknowledge the fact that you, of all the children in the world, were autistic. Compounded with the fact that I had no preconceived notion on how to raise girls, I assumed it was the same as raising a boy, which explains my strict discipline –my reign of terror- over you.

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I’d never fall apart
you always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start.

I admit I turned into a paranoid maniac during your early teenage years; with your mother’s unexpected death and my retrenchment, it was hard to be three people at once: a mother, a father and a breadwinner. One of the only things I was relieved off at that time was that you were officially diagnosed as cleared of autism. I knew you were trying to help by wanting to find a part time job but I just didn’t want to let you. I led you into thinking it was due to arrogance just so that you wouldn’t go ahead, and I remember your screaming fits over this matter. The truth was that I didn’t let you go ahead simply because I wanted to provide the easiest life for you that I could, and I didn’t want you to suffer with me.

I suppose it was then when I started losing you. You fell in with the wrong crowd in time and you indulged in all the things I should be protecting you from – alcohol, drugs and promiscuity. Oh, you thought you hid it well away from me but I wouldn’t have found out if I didn’t swallow your ecstasy pills thinking they were painkillers, or stumbling across the stash of condoms in your room when I was cleaning it. The only reason why I never confronted you about it was because I didn’t want to lose you any further than I already had.

I would hold you in my arms; I would take the pain away.
Thank you for all you’ve done, forgive all your mistakes.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to hear your voice again.
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won’t be there.

You filled my heart with despair that fateful Monday evening when I returned from work only to find you gone. As if the wound wasn’t deep enough, the three simple words you scrawled on your mirror only succeeded in plunging the knife deeper. I spent the rest of that night, as well as subsequent nights for the next two months, searching for you until 4 a.m. in the morning. When I wasn’t looking for you, I’d be crying in your room while looking through photographs of the ghost of our past happiness, while hoping the police would call with good news any minute. I didn’t care about anything else anymore; I just wanted my baby angel found.

And when no hope was left in sight
on that starry, starry night,
you took your life, as lovers often do.

My heart broke on my 40th birthday when the police called to announce that you were found dead in a motel room. You were only 16 when you swallowed that fatal mix of ecstasy and sleeping pills. Every subsequent day would pass with me drowning in more and more regret. I would tell myself over and over again that I should have been a better father; that I should have tried to get you to kick the habit… I rebuked myself to sleep every night.

I’m sorry for blaming you
for everything I just couldn’t do
and I’ve hurt myself by hurting you.

Two butterflies, one a shining ruby red, the other a perfect violet hue, pass by the window chasing each other in a gaily waltz. And I notice all this as I close my eyes for the last time on my death bed, while my last hope is to see you two in heaven.

Would you know my nameif I saw you in heaven?
Will it be the sameif I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong, and carry on
cause I know I don’t belong
here in heaven.

==========

wonderful!
though i love writing very much, i doubt that i can write beautifully like her. very touching indeed.

read them here: original post.

and she is a friend in Blogskins.com. her user name is maskeraid.! and if you're interested, visit her blog-carolyn.

okay, enough. i'm tired.

Tagged By Myzah.

You have to answer the survey with an honest heart. An honest heart will give you good luck for the entire year. You may imagine of one people or maybe some people not only one. Answer it, "What if your ex says" referring to you!!!

1. Why did you let me go?
- because I had enough of your idiocy. and i'm tired of you being a baby all the time. you have no guts to improve. i told you everything but at the end, you said that you can't do that. YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TRY, FOR GOODNESS SAKE! well then, so be it.

2. I still love you.
- i know, but i dont like quitter. you quit before you try dear, and i think i hate it.

3. When did we last talk?
- i dont know, forgot.

4. Will you go out with me?
- yeah, why not?

6. I cannot keep my promise to you.
- oooooOH what a surprise. - in a sarcastic way. please lah, like you never did that before.

7. My friends say we don't look good together..
- let them talk.

8. You have changed.
- yes, and you're still the same quitter like you used to be.

9. Can we get back together?
- no unless you stop being a quitter.

10. Oh, I know what this is all about. You found someone else.
- fu*ck off.

11. Don't you realize? You were the one who hurt me!
- i realized.

12. how can u forget our memories??
- i dont, but i dont want to talk about it. you're my history.

13. I will always love you.
- dont try to make me feel guilty you idiot.

14. Would you die for our love?
- no.

15. You jump, i jump..remember?
- yeah! that Titanic line! uh man i love that movie!

16. Kiss me to break the curse if i sleep for a hundred years.
- what, NO! i'm sure you'll smell awful after sleeping for 100 years. euu.

17. Whats the different between me and Him/Her.
- he's willing to do anything for me. and i could see his efforts to make me happy. and you? you take my love for granted. this is the way how you see things:
"that girl is already mine and i don't have to do anything anymore because whatever i do, i know she will love me. she loves me for who i am. i dont have to be the other guys who have to try very hard to get her because again, she is mine. even though there's 100 men try to approach her, she still love me. whenever she asks me why i never do those things, i will tell her that i dont really know how to make it. its me, i dont know how to please a girlfriend because i never had one before. i am unexperienced, and naive."
woohoo, i am a mind-reader. please lah, its not like you cannot ask your friends how to please a lady. oh wait! you're so shy to ask things. and perhaps pleasing a lady that you claimed the love of your life, or the last one for you, is too tiring. okay, dont bother.

18. I saw you lastnight with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
- see i knew it. you're liar. i DONT have one. i'm picky now, THANKS TO YOU. i have to be very careful choosing a boyfriend. ooh, you messed my life, successfully. gratz!

19. Without me, your life wouldnt be complete.
- dont you ever learn biology? it clearly states that technically, one will die only if they dont get enough minerals that are needed by the body.

20. Why are you doing this to me!?
- do what? that question is supposed to be asked by me.

Brushes

a6 loves camera. =p

abstract.

Lifestyle.

love quote by animate_, a friend in a forum.

"letting go doesn't mean giving up but rather accepting that there are things that never be"

you know who i'm referring to..

(NOT YOU JEREMY. SCROLL DOWN PLS.)

camera, again.

i am so OBSESSED with photoshop brushes! the brushes are downloaded from various talented users in DeviantArt. some brushes are downloaded by myself and some are sent by Jeremy. (thanks). i'm playing with the brushes days and nights, and of course the victim of my experiment is none other than *APPLAUSE* my dear mate's photos, areef a.k.a RET a.k.a my pluffy pork a.k.a a6. by using his photos, i created some beautiful images.

p/s: to apologize, jeremy sent me a lovely cute image created by himself, and i'll keep it just for me. i don't want to share. xp

thank you again.

After Maintenance.

Yes I am back! First of all, I want to explain to my dear loyal visitors, why my blog was suddenly under maintenance yesterday.

Here’s the whole story behind it:

Jeremy: darl, i’m sorry.
Me: what for?
Jeremy: sorry leh..
Me: why sorry2?
Jeremy: if I tell you, promise you won’t mad, can?
Me: see what’s the problem first lah.
Jeremy: just now i wanted to insert a very cool widget to your blog. but then i messed up the coding. SORRY.
Me: fixed it back already? (note the voice. fuming already)
Jeremy: i tried. cannot..
Me: why, you don’t know how to read codes? html, css, java, xml?
Jeremy: all cannot.
Me: then why pandai2? mau insert widget lagi!
Jeremy: trust me, very cool one!
Me: ahh! i don’t want to know. whatever it is, it caused you to messed up my codings! Not cool anymore.
Jeremy: hahahaha
Me: still laugh!
Jeremy: you funny one, only blog what. can fix it later.
Me: yeah, you stupid fat cow. i made it in like hours and there you go, you messed it back just about 3 FUCKING minutes!
Jeremy: aiyah, said sorry already.. what else can I do?
Me: you better make amend.
Jeremy: like this, i give you brushes lah. new one.
Me: don’t want. can download myself.
Jeremy: okay check your mail in 4 days.
Me: better good one!
Jeremy: i know. okay, gotta go darl. loves and kisses.
Me: eff off.
Jeremy: uu I lovit! kay bye. hugs.

That’s the whole story. Stupid Jeremy messed with my codings.

In case you’re asking why he can access my blog, actually I gave my password to his very brilliant sister to tidy up my code. His sister is truly a talent. I cannot understand why she got this stupid brother. Only know how to make people mad. Now I have to change my password again. Siao Jeremy. I was so furious, my face red already, he still laughs! I tell you Jeremy, if you ever mess with my codings, I swear to God I’ll kill you – literally!
Or, even better, don’t access my blog anymore. Unless I ask you to. Please lar. This is my private property. Can you please respect my privacy~?

err, this new skin, i haven't try on Mozilla. anyone, feel free to tell me if the alignment is off or look like crap in whatever browser you're using. thank you for your support. and i'm sorry if my blog is loading so slow. blame the meta. but cool, isn't it? heheeeeeee.

Merlin.

I watched this new series, Merlin. I love Colin Morgan. He’s DROP-DEAD hot! He got this cute face when he talks, I would go like, OMG!!!!! Bradley James is also freaking charming. Legendary kings are always hot – except for Alexander the Great because he was a renowned bisexual and bisexuals are absolutely turn-offs (for me, at least)! So I bought the DVD set. (yeah, I’m out of my mind, got so many DVD boxes inside my room already, still want to add mess. I supposed to premium my Tibia but no, I buy this set instead. I rather sit and watch my beloved DVD, at the same time chat with my mate – lots of fun, than play tibia the whole day with no one – boring!)

People who know me will know how much I love myths, legends, kingdom thingies, magic, spells, chants, charms, those medieval eras, castles, and ancient languages, and thy list goes on. So, this series really caught my attention. Plus, its UK, I am crazy about their accent. SEXY!

Colin Morgan as Merlin,When Merlin casts his spells, his eyes will glow. Like this:

Bradley James as Arthur,And Arthur. He’s CUTE!

Katie McGrath as Morgana,
(Morgana’s eyes fit to be wicked.)

Angel Coulby as Gwen,

Richard Wilson as Gaius,
Anthony Head as Uther Pendragon.

The series always began by the voice of the great dragon, (voice by John Hurt):

"In the land of myth and the time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on

a shoulder of a young boy, his name: Merlin!"

And the journey continues.

Eh, but! There’s buts.

I thought Merlin was the one who was responsible for Arthur’s birth. He used his magic to transform Uther Pendragon to look exactly like Duke Gorlois of Cornwall (or some said Hoel of Tintagel) then he made love to Igraine during the Duke’s absence. Igraine was the wife of the Duke, so when Gorlois return, Uther killed Gorlois.

Lady Morgana, wasn’t she believed to be Arthur’s step-sister? It has been said, Morgana or Morgan le Fay is wicked. In Gerald of Wales' work called Tour of Wales (1188), the scholar wrote that Morgan was Arthur's cousin. In any myth that I have been read, she was related to Arthur, whether she’s his sister or cousin. In this series, Morgana is Arthur’s fiancée?

And Guinevere, or Gwen, is Arthur’s wife. How come in the series, Gwen likes Merlin? (It’s obvious, duh! She kissed Merlin in front of Gaius when Merlin was saved from the verge of death.)

And where’s the famous Excalibur? It also has been said that Arthur pulled a magic sword from Avalon at his young age, thus proved that Arthur was the true and rightful king of Britain. But in the series, where is the sword? I haven’t seen any magical sparkling-extraordinary-glowing-and-talking sword except the ordinary-non-shining-metal-but-very-sharp-indeed sword.

And about Nimueh that Uther Pendragon feared the most in the series, wasn’t she supposed to be Merlin’s student who later changed to lover? Isn’t she the one who is responsible for Merlin’s death?

I read Welsh Traditions, and some myth sites about King Arthur BEFORE I watch this series so I’m a bit confused. However, I’ll continue to watch Merlin for his cute face and very charismatic prince Arthur.

Nasihat Untuk Sesama Wanita

Wanita perlu kebebasan. Wanita sekarang tidak lemah seperti yang disangkakan. Wanita sekarang boleh buat apa yang orang lelaki buat. Telah ada wanita yang memegang negara, menjadi tampuk pemerintahan, menjadi ikutan, menjadi idola, menjadi lagenda., malah ada antara mereka yang lebih hebat dari kaum lelaki.

Memang betul, wanita sekarang telah diberi kebebasan yang mereka mahu, iaitu bekerja dengan tangan sendiri tanpa perlu bergantung sepenuhnya kepada sang suami. Ada juga wanita-wanita malang yang bekerja bukan untuk keperluan mereka semata-mata, justeru untuk menstabilkan ekonomi keluarga memandangkan gaji para suami tidak mencukupi untuk menampung kehidupan seharian. Maklumlah, dunia sekarang perlu bermacam-macam. Perlu meminjam wang dari pihak bank untuk meneruskan pelajaran anak-anak, perlu meminjam wang untuk membelikan anak-anak keperluan sekolah (harus diingat, bagi anak-anak zaman sekarang, peralatan asas untuk bersekolah ialah komputer riba, telefon bimbit dan ada setengahnya memerlukan sebuah kereta, bukan hanya peralatan tulis!), perlu meminjam wang membeli sebuah kereta untuk menghantar anak-anak ke sekolah (bagi negara yang tidak mempunyai kemudahan transportasi awam seperti Brunei dan bagi negara yang penduduknya tidak menggunakan transportasi awam iaitu bas, seperti Brunei.), dan bermacam-macam lagi. Pokoknya, wanita perlu melakukan segalanya jika mereka terikat jodoh dengan suami yang pendapatannya tidak mencukupi.

Setelah mereka pulang kerumah, wanita-wanita ini diwajibkan memasak, melayan suami, dan bermacam-macam lagi. Sungguh hebat bukan? Setelah seharian berhempas pulas membanting tulang bekerja di pejabat, mereka menyambung lagi tugas mereka di rumah. Berapa peratus lelaki khususnya suami yang merasakan pekerjaan di rumah adalah tanggungjawap bersama? Mungkin hanya 23%. Jika anda beruntung, anda akan beroleh suami yang termasuk dalam 23% ini. Jika tidak?

Oleh itu wahai wanita, pilihlah calon suami dari golongan lelaki yang beriman kerana mereka ini akan dapat memahami kesusahan kamu. Mereka ini akan tahu berfikir bahawa kamu juga bekerja untuk keluarga dan mereka ini tidak akan menyusahkan kamu. Mereka akan tahu bahawa wanita bukan dicipta untuk diperhambakan, dan bukan juga untuk diagungkan. Mereka akan tahu bahawa pekerjaan dirumah adalah tanggungjawap bersama!

Pilihlah calon suami dari golongan lelaki yang rajin berusaha, kerana lelaki yang rajin berusaha tidak akan memerlukan kamu untuk turut bekerja bagi menstabilkan ekonomi keluarga. Mereka akan berasa malu jika kamu juga turut mengeluarkan duit untuk menampung perbelanjaan keluarga. Mereka akan berusaha hingga mampu memenuhi segala kemahuan kamu yang telah bersusah payah menjaga makan minum keluarga. mereka akan berusaha untuk kamu, wanita yang telah berkorban bertarung nyawa demi membolehkan zuriat mereka untuk terus hidup bernafas di alam fatamorgana ini.

Cara untuk memilih lelaki dari golongan ini ialah dengan melihat bagaimana dia melayan ibunya kerana seorang lelaki yang mementingkan ibu dan seluruh keluarganya adalah seorang lelaki yang baik, hormat pada wanita dan tahu akan kesusahan seorang makhluk ciptaan tuhan bernama wanita.

Jangan bergantung pada cinta dan rupa kerana cinta akan hilang pada bila-bila masa dan rupa, adalah sesuatu yang tidak kekal. Persamaan kedua-dua ini yang menguatkan nasihat saya supaya JANGAN bergantung padanya adalah ia tidak boleh dimakan. Duh! Cinta pada lelaki yang malas tetapi ada rupa akan menyebabkan kita mengikat perut menahan lapar. Cinta pada lelaki yang kaya dan ada rupa akan menyebabkan kita makan hati berulam jantung. Cinta pada lelaki yang kaya tetapi tidak ada rupa akan menyebabkan kita diperhambakan. Cinta pada lelaki yang tidak ada rupa, malas dan tidak mempunyai harta akan menyebabkan kita mati. =.=”

Pilihlah suami dengan berhati-hati kerana mereka ini akan bersama kita mengharungi tahun-tahun penuh dugaan yang bakal menjelang tiba. Memilih suami bukan dengan cara memilih ikan di pasar kerana mereka inilah tempat kita bergantung kerana kita adalah ciptaan tuhan yang perlu tempat bergantung. DUH!!!




Just a random gobbledygook by a bored hag girl!

My Father xx In Pet Society!

oh no, he's in pet society! BABAH!!!! (babah in english is father)

see the pant, so high HAHAH apakannn. my imagination is so extreme. i can even think of inserting his father here. teruk eh. very nice. i use brush to create the uniform of babah. babah before going to school. haahahahaha

The Number Eleven Controversy (sebelas, 11)

The Secret behind the number 11 Pretty Chilling - read to the bottom.

Try it out.
If you are a sceptical person - still read on, as it's actually very interesting!! This is actually really freaky!! (Mainly the end part, but read it all first)

1) New York City has 11 letters


2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.


3) Ramsin Yuseb has 11 letters . (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993)


4) George W Bush has 11 letters.




This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets interesting:




1) New York is the 11th state.


2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.


3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11


4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers , was carrying 65 passengers. 6 + 5 = 11


5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 =11


6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911.




Sheer coincidence..? Read on and make up your own mind:




1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 + 5 + 4 = 11


2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year.


3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.


4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.




Now this is where things get totally eerie:



The most recognized symbol for the US , after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle.



The following verse is taken from the Koran, the Islamic holy book:



"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."




That verse is number 9.11 of the Koran.


Unconvinced about all of this still..?


Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:


Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
1. Type in upper case ( Q33 NY ). This is the flight number of the first plane to hit one of the Twin Towers .

2. Highlight the Q33 NY.

3. Change the font size to 48.

4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS..

What do you think now????


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checked my email just now, and got this interesting one. interestingly funny, i mean.

my comment:

(since this entry is in English, i shall give my comment in that language too.)

Oh my.. you dont know how pleased i am to know that it is not only Malays who are susceptible..! Now it is revealed that they, the societies who are known as the most advance in everything also undoubtedly gullible.

CREEPY MY FOOT lar! *&$##%#!!!!!!!!

Jeremy said this:
haiz, where got creepy.. its only a number lar. same like 1 2 3 what. these peoples love to exaggerate hor. they'll never stop attacking people's religion.

then he goes like cursing2 in his Hokkien. funny i tell you! hahahahahahaha! i think he's the one who is exaggerating.

Preposterous Denial Of The Famous.

“this is my lifestyle, if you don’t like, don’t see/read lor.”
“you have no rights to judge me.”


Yeah, can I say it now? Can I? okay, can ah….





SHUT UP ALREADY!




and,

"saya bukan telanjang"? really? is that all you got?


For those who don’t understand what rubbish I’m talking about, let me explain to you: I hate those public figures who said those sentences above. By public figures I’m referring to those peoples who appears on TV, Medias, and who are known to the world (or in certain countries). These people do anything as they please and later deny doing so, whether by saying it’s camera faulty, or photoshopped pictures or look alike. I’m disgusted. Please lah! Why can’t you just admit that you’re slut? There’s nothing wrong being a slut, or act slutty/bitchy (or whatever you call it these days). If you have the nerve to do so, why don’t you have the courage to face the condemnation?

You are in no doubt famous my dear, how do you expect people to close their eyes to your life? If you don’t want people to encroach on your life, don’t be a public figure at the first place. Please find any decent infamous jobs to do. There are lots of things you can do with God’s Gifts – hands and legs. After that you can do whatever you want, sleep with artists who are younger than you, or marry a married rich man who got a pregnant wife, whatever. Nobody will care. You are famous now, and surely you cannot stop those bad-mouthing mouths. You cannot sue everybody. There are lots of people who are agreeing with me. And, we HAVE NO RIGHTS? Haizzzzz.. you tore my heart to pieces. We absolutely have our rights dear.. we sort of giving you money to keep you breathing. We bought your movies or your albums darling. Now, do you dare to instruct us not to support you? Not to buy your things - albums or movies? Already got damned cannot think properly is it? again, use the gifts wisely can or not?

**as long as we’re still in the same world, we cannot stop busy body-ing. There’s nothing you can do about it. its nature of human. You want the world to know you, you want attention, when we gave you some, and you act like you don’t want /don’t need it. Please! Everything comes with a price and this is the price you should pay when you became someone you dreamt of.
FUCK OFF. i dont care.

Pet Society - New Clothes.

the content of the following post are not suitable for children. its 18++. because it contains some explicit pictures. dont proceed if you are still under 25. okay?

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TADAAA!

MY NEW CLOTHES!

* you're wondering why i said these pictures are not suitable for children? because its not wering pants. no peeking! i forgot to wear pants. besides, the clothes long enough to cover.. *

i went to Old Trafford to buy these. it took me forever to get there. at my town, they are not selling Manchester United's jersey. i guess everybody hate that club. as if you sell one, you'll get sentence! okay, since my dad uses my beloved Nissan, so i use his Benz. he told me not to spend too much money. well, here. i bought two only. and hey, i dyed my fur also. its orange already. cost me about $250. $100 for each clothes, and $50 for dyeing my fur. very expensive.

this one seems to be tight. i'm very handsome already. (not wearing pants can say handsome.) i saw this one skateboard, very cool, i want to buy it. but next time lah.



HAFIZ & MATE, if you guys read this, what do you think? kamu inda tedapat ni..

Earning Money With Blog, Pet Society

since his laptop got diseases, i seldom chat with him now. and i'm bored. bored to the max. when will he fix his laptop? and his connection also not good, when he uses mobile ebuddy (he uses DST which you know very well that its connection sucks), his messages will balik2 sent. very boring you know. his blog also no update. i have nothing to read and nothing to see. his pictures used to be very creative and i used to be the active judge. now i have nothing to judge. and i am bored. hey, i signed up on the ads already. you see the side bar, got ads already. very interesting, no? and i will get paid for every click. sound interesting, right? with absolutely nothing little effort, and while i'm playing with my pet, i get paid! you want to try? sign up here. its free.

Bidvertiser

Google Adsense

Chitika

i'm wondering how long does it takes to get my first check.. dont worry, those webs proved to be no scam. and yes! i'm playing Pet Society now. and my pet's name, is no surprise, reefious. its taken from the mate's name, areef, just throw the letter A and add -ious at theback. its fun, really. myzah also play. her pet very cute one, with the clothes looks like skirt tenaik. if you want to play, log in to your facebook lah. now, come and join me to beraya at my friends' houses.

my house very nice one.. got name you see. and my pet's eyebrows copied to HIS-you-know-who's eyebrows.

we're going to visit mate's and hafiz's house. you see, his pet also got name and no surprise, its my name. -.-"


his pet also cute with the green clothes. after this we go to hafiz's. embrace yourself.

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this is hafiz's. his pet super kawaiiii. got glasses. and he is really fanatic about Manchester United.

going to myzah's. see the skirt!

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BAH! you see her pet got skirt tenaik. her eyebrows also plucked. got aircond lagi her house. very cool one. and her house got many rooms. i want that too!

The Great Comeback Ever!

Helo people! I’m back! You see, my blog is ceria with the color. Very bright ah.. but there’s something wrong with the skin. I think if you use opera, you can see the flaw. Readers, send me feedback if you’re using opera. Can you read my post clearly? Is the flaw serious? If it is, and you cannot read my post clearly, I’ll do something about it. you see, I’m very considerate when dealing with my readers. The reason I brought back my blog is that my life is incomplete without a day complaining. So I’m going to keep complaining. I’m so good in it. what the hell..

Okay, what did I miss? As the blog still under maintenance, there are lots of things going on in my everyday life. And I’m regret that I cannot write it in. first thing first, happy belated national day to my beloved country Brunei Darussalam. I hope the years to come, things would develop better than ever. Secondly, happy belated birthday to Jeremy. On his birthday, he asked me something that couldn’t answer. Really, I don’t want a long-distance relationship. I cannot trust. I’m sorry. He told me to apply for the Singapore scholarship, so i could meet him. (he's in NUS, National U of S'pore if you dont know what its stands for.) but I think I don’t want to be apart from my mum (actually I don’t qualified. That’s the main reason. Oei, I’m not as brilliant as you, so what?!) So, yeah, I’m forgiven already. He also was willing to transfer me some cash to fly to Singapore. Thanks but NO thanks. I’m still underage, I cannot travel without my mum. And he doesn’t want his picture to be published on the net. (I think I’m going to post it some time. HAHAHAHA *evil laugh*)

Lastly.. I cannot think of anything. =/ okay I’m done. See you next time.






** update:
i've tried viewing my page using Mozilla and its okay except my beautiful cursor is disappeared. only problem with opera i think.. so what do you think of my new skin? is it good? is it bad? *daryll style.*