Not cynical.

You ever have this feeling, like you won't live pass 40?

I have. Something in me said that I will live a short life. I don't know what makes me think as such, but I do. I'm pretty sure my final years would be spent in hospitals, surrounded with machines and medicines. And I'm pretty sure I will be alone when I die too, because fighting some kind of illness years before my final years will leave me no time to date anyone. Or maybe it's because my illness would make me look terrifying.

You know how sucks it is to realise such things? I know, some of the reader will say that I'm just being overly cynical. But this feelings in my gut is strong.

This sucks beyond belief.

Abusing the word AWESOME!

So today I went to sit for SPA test in PTE Katok. I didn't want to. I remembered what we (me and Yadie) talked about how (extremely) useless the system is. It's Ramadhan, and they expect us to be in Katok before 8.30 AM. It's insane. The fact that not all of us lives in Bandar seemed so difficult for them to grasp. It was awesome how I managed to keep my emotion in check, not cursing all the way from Lumut to Bandar.

And Mali was awesome.

My parents wanted to go shopping, and I was bored out of my mind. We were in Giant, and Mali was nearby. I was just guessing, but I guessed right. He was at ITB when I texted. He came, and we met for a while. It felt like seconds. I missed him because we haven't met since we fought last week. :( I hate fighting with him. I've said it before, and I say it now.

I wanted to look at books, so we went to the Best Eastern. I was looking for Lord Of The Ring books. I didn't know what Mali was looking for so imagine my surprise when he showed me Jane Austen's books - Pride and Prejudice and Persuasion! I didn't know he was paying attention, like most guys do. He actually remembers I like Austen! When I wanted to pay, he opened his wallet and paid the cashier before I can. I wanted to yell at him but I saw my picture in his wallet. MY PICTURE! I was still grinning like crazy when he pulled me out of the store.

Theeen we went to next store, the boutique. He bought me a black Pashmina shawl. He said "kalau mali kan bagi hadiah, sanang saja. bagi tudung hitam pasal kalau bagi tudung lain pun nda jua kena pakai." That wasn't sweet, but it's the truth.

Then he gave me his bracelet, the one I bought for him last year and he took my bracelet. Exchange.

Then we sat on one of the benches, and just talk. After a while, he said he needed to go back to ITB. I said why, and he said this;

"because I'm fasting and your laughs made me want to kiss you."

He's awesome..

Goodbye, Kevin 'Wordy' Wordsworth.

Goodbye,

Kevin 'Wordy' Wordsworth.

Ramadhan's heree!

We've been in the fasting month for how many days?
Yeah, 6. That's also a total amount of days I haven't slept before Sahur.

Me and my bestfriends have this ridiculous tradition, that every first Ramadhan and Syawal, we'd groupchat. No matter how, no matter where, we would find a way to groupchat in MSN. I know I probably said it too many times, but that doesn't lessen how I really meant it.

I love you Arif. 

I love you Wahyu Zahleena.

I love you Hamyzah.

Other than them, I've also been chatting with Hakim, Amin and Oby.
These guys, I thank god for them. Not that I'd be bored, chatting with my bestfriends, but these guys helped lightening up my days (or nights) a little bit brighter. Thank you.

Happy Fasting!