Happy 26th Independence Day, Brunei.

This is very humiliating. Sure we don’t have pubs or anything like that. What do you expect? Brunei is an Islamic country, a very religious one at that. That’s just how we operate. We believe in MIB which stands for Melayu Islam Beraja, means Malay Islamic Monarchy. Our religion forbids us to consume any alcoholic drinks. Well there are Muslim who drank them, but that’s another story. We are good Muslims, we don’t do suicide bombings, never attack any tourists or foreigners who dwell in Brunei, and we’re completely nonviolent. We just don’t tolerate booze. Why degrade us?

We were born here, we live here for the rest of our lives and hopefully we’ll die here. We do not just respect our ruler, but we love His Majesty to the highest degree. If anything that everybody could ever understand and honour, it is LOYALTY. You certainly do not like other people to insult your mother, right? Well that’s how we felt. An insult to either His Majesty or our country, or both for that matter, is an insult to all of us Bruneians. You do not speak ill of our beloved and expect us to stay put. His Majesty may be a royalty and he’s way above us, but in our heart, he’s like a father, brother and son. You may think it’s perfectly fine to ridicule of your senators or presidents, but not us. It’s just the way we think. Our interpretation of respect may vary but if we can put up with yours, why can’t you try to acknowledge ours?

We’ve never whine (yeah, I considered those protest marches as higher level of whining) not because our mouths had been stuffed with money. We are just thankful. We are truly blessed. Our government provides us with highest standard of protection and education, concisely everything that some countries had overlooked. All those for free. We do not pay taxes, do not have to vote and suffer the consequences, we received good paychecks, even those retired elders are paid. Our lives are secured. All are outcomes of His Majesty’s affections towards us, His people. We really do not care about how His Majesty spends his money. He can buy himself a plane made of pure gold or trim His hair for $50,000 for all we care. It’s His money, for crying out loud! Try putting yourself in His shoes (or much cheaper one if you cannot afford one that exactly like His), tell me how would you like it if somebody else tell you how to spend your hard-earned money? His Majesty does not do charity? Oh, and here I am, constantly annoyed by the endless messages I received, attempting to encourage me to donate to all the national disaster. By all, I mean every single misfortune that needed donations, global or not. Really, which filthy mouth did you hear that from? If His Majesty isn’t the most charitable person I’ve ever met, then I don’t know who is. You know which part that makes it beyond belief? That He did not do it for a vote.

It’s true that Brunei is the most boring country. It’s out-dated and we don’t have many tourist attractions like any other countries. Heck, even the local entertainment industry is crap. However, only US Bruneians can say so. Why is that, you ask? It’s pretty simple. You can say whatever you like to your siblings, but you cannot have other people talk like the way you do to them, right? We’re like that. We know our country well. It’s OUR country and it’s part of us.

Everyone has their own trait, so do we. I know that in some place where you live, it’s highly encouraged that you speak your mind, but do be careful for in the process, you may hurt some people’s feelings. Even if you do not give a rat’s ass about that, you may incite stereotyping. For instance, right now I’m beginning to think that all Caucasians are uncouth – thanks to those who made the group and demean our nation.

23rd of February,
which is today, is Brunei’s Independence Day and I would like to affirm that

I may not progressive,
I may criticize some things,
I may not be a patriotic person that carries national flag wherever I go,

But I love my country, and I devote myself to my Sultan. If ever needed, I’m ready to defend Him, even if it means to face my death.

p/s: oh oh, and to remind all those who want to demean Brunei, please at least get it right. Otherwise, you look like a professional morons, not only to us Bruneians, but also to the rest of the world. Better yet, don't do it. Demeaning other nations for fun is not cool, however, it successfully depicts how shallow you are. And never call our Ruler an ass. Here, one of my favorite Barack Obama (yeah, the only American President I have utmost respect for) quote, exclusively for you, "JACKASS!"

save your bullshit.

You work already?
So.. What are you going to do now?
Why don’t you apply at blah blah blah?
Yadda yadda..

Since you really want to know, I tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna sit, sleep, eat and play my laptop for 24 hours a day for whole week. What are you going to do about it?

Really, what does it have to do with you anyway?

I will ask you these:

Did you sit with me during my exams?
Did I ask for your money?
Did I pester you by sitting idly in my room?

No, no and NO!

You did not do anything and yet, oh here you are, judging me. It’s easy for you to speak, but it’s ME who do all the deeds. It is MY life that I’m fucking with, not yours. It is up to me to mend or fuck with it. If I’m choosing to mend my life, it is me who’s getting ALL the benefits. And if I choose the latter, it is I who fucked up. It really is none of your fucking business. All you do is talk, talk and talk. 10 minutes later, talk. It’s bullshit, I tell you.

For the last time, it is my fucking life and if all you’re gonna do is pep talk, I strongly suggest, don’t bother. I won’t give a damn. I know I’m being stupid but hell, I love every minutes of it and honestly, I can do better without your needless advice, so just save it. I am stupid because I chose to be, but trust me, I AM NOT THAT STUPID.

The Bitter One

AN: this is Unlocking The Vault continuation. It was intended to be short. I need the cliffhanger.



Running away is never a solution. Even without any form of communication, Adam still haunts her. There was not a day that she hadn’t thought about him, though thinking about him was like a dagger drove right into her chest. She felt betrayed, she felt defeated. If Adam had forgotten all about her, why should she embrace his memories? But she can’t help it. She loved Adam, he was her first in many ways. It is true that Adam had battered her, he had given her reasons to mourn, but their happy moments were too many that it prevailed above everything. It was unachievable to entirely get over him. Over the years, she had learnt to conceal her emotions quite effectively.

Eve bravely relived her memoires, the bitter part of her that she sealed from anyone, not even herself would she permitted to visit it. In those years, she coldheartedly sliced the hearts of men, dancing to the music of their screams of pains, swimming leisurely in the tears they had shed for her. She let them flew towards the heaven and brutally yanked them down in the process, before they even get a whiff of the sanctified serenity. She had became vicious, a villain in love, because she wanted companions to walk down the misery lane. She did not want to grieve alone. However, this was not done to any man, this sadistic side of hers was reserved only for disloyal men. She despised any act of infidelity, which evoked her memories of Adam’s proximity to Odyne.

That was when her brother came into the picture. He was what they called a cousin, but he loved her dearly, as if she was his flesh and blood sister. He was the only one whom was aware of her shape. He saw what Adam did to her and for that he swore on his life that he would allow no one to mess with her. He blamed himself for her pains, he saw it as his failure that Adam managed to harm her to that extent. That was the moment when he decided to intervene in her life, every aspects in her life was arranged by him. He monitored her and subsequently instructed her of what to do. Eventually, he seemed too carried away that he had forgotten his own life and made hers his precedence. Eve knew very well what was he trying to do, and she felt that she owed him explanation for her every actions.

Eve was not completely ill-fated to only stumble upon these revolting creatures, but she also came to know some benevolent men. These men reminded her of Adam’s traits, mainly selfless and civilized. She did not have the heart to hurt these men that she eventually forsook them. She forbade herself to yield to anyone, in any kind of liaison. She did not know what incite her terror in that area, what may have caused her to distrust any men. One thing that she had absolute certainty was that she was yet to bare her true self to any being. Adam had wounded her severely, more than she ever thought.

To Be Continued..

God help me, I love Scandinavian guy.

I'm totally distracted, and lost in words. I had actually finished writing my chapter 2, but then when I review it, I decided to write all over again. It happened twice. Why oh why. I have never been this lost.

I think, this is the source of my problem.

Damn Hundtricket! Damn Om Sara! Damn Generation Kill! Damn True Blood!

DAMN ERIC NORTHMAN! Yeah, you heard me, DAMN Alexander Skarsgård!

damn his lips, damn his eyes, damn his hands, damn his stares, damn his smiles, damn his yummy big body!

So God help me, I think I'm deeply, madly, terribly obsessed with a certain Scandinavian guy.

p/s: To anyone who cannot (read: stupid enough to) differentiate between love and obsession, THIS is a true OBSESSION, my dear. Do not, ever, condemn anyone whom loves you for years, claiming that she was just temporarily infatuated, her feeling were merely a crush and you certainly do not assure her that her feeling will just fade with time, which evidently, it fucking hasn't!

Anugerah RTB 2009

First off, I would like to congratulate our state broadcaster, RTB, for their recent success in RTB Awards. With those outfits the guests (or nominees) wore, very organized speeches, the presence of respectful individuals, it was a very prestigious event indeed.

I am overjoyed to announce that I am a proud Bruneian after they pulled those stunts, or pleasant surprises as the brilliant host implied, in front of those international stars. They even invited Tiz Zaqyah Razak and Sharifah Sofea (Nur Kasih) on the stage to present one award and to read out the disqualified award. How wonderful is that, you tell me? On top of that, these lucky ladies were dressed in awfully informal clothes, contrary to the audiences whom dressed like they were going to Golden Globe.

The presenters of the particular awards read out the winners by their full names, as if it was normal things to do. Yeah, I remembered Alex was actually called Alexander Johan Hjalmar Skarsgård when he won the Best Villain on Scream Award.

The host was very talented, and he made the hostess looked lost.

The performances were outstanding. They performed a scene of Ibu Mertuaku, the one when the mother threatens to disown her daughter because of her disapproval for the man the daughter chooses, and then, they sang a song from Masam-Masam Manis, Apa Guna Berjanji. Oh the poignant scene and the song were without a doubt connected. One performance from Adep and AJ was very refreshing. I don’t even know how to distinguish the event, formal or informal, a Golden Globe or a VMA.

Finally, the entrance of the most anticipated celebrity was more splendid. Stacy was obviously unprepared, equipped with malfunctioning microphone, noticeably miming using a (strong possibilities) karaoke disc and hideous outfit. The stage was very bright and she danced alone. And I wonder why on earth don’t they just invite Waheeda, if dressing (terribly) appropriately is their main concern?

After all these years, I cannot believe they still manage to surprise me. Well done. Just, well done.