DFJ

Helo! I’m blogging using my desktop. And it feels weird. It has been so long since I last using it. Well I bought my baby laptop, Dess I named it, just 5 months after I bought this desktop and abandoned it 2 months after I got used to my baby Dess. The Microsoft Word is so different. Sigh. I miss my Dess.

Okay, what did I miss?
1. Hmm.. Michael Jackson, or also known as Mikael died. Al Fatihah for him.

2. Perez Hilton punched by Will.I.Am of Black Eyed Peas, which I said served him right. Perez is a real faggot who has been abusing people verbally, yet he still got face to say, “Violence is never an answer.” If I were Will.I.Am, I would have chopped his hand so that he won’t be able to insult people in his blog anymore.

3. aku menyamal pasal inda kana bawa liat transformer 2, but its okay now. Cool.

And yesterday, a big thing happened.

Thanks to areef the mate, I got DFJ’s email. I love you forever mate! Thank you!

The thing is, when he told me to add the sacred email, many questions popped into my head.

What if he rejects my email?
What if he doesn’t want to be my friend?
What if he hates me?
What if he ignores me?
What if he has a girlfriend already?

The bestfriends said,
He won’t reject your email.
What he has against you?
Why would he hate you?
Why would he ignore?
That is another story. You have to make the first move first, we will think about that later.

These are my answers:
What makes you think he won’t?
I’m a stranger, and people like him (probably) hate strangers.
I emerged from nowhere, he barely even know me, and I added him? What will he think? It’s like adding Jake Gyllenhaal’s email and force him to talk to you. why would he talk to you, huh, stranger?
Why wouldn’t he? It’s like adding Barrack Obama’s email, why would he wants me to be in his contact list? I ain’t Miss World, I ain’t President’s daughter. I am nobody and he is somebody (at least that what’s I think of him.)
Better safe that sorry. I don’t want to be accused a boyfriend-snatcher anymore.

I am a pessimist, darn pessimistic. I am a coward.
I lost my pride once, I lost my pride twice, and I will make sure there is no third time. I have never felt this way. I am an onion peel, so fragile that by one gentle touch, I will be destroyed forever. You might find this hilarious, but for me, the one who felt this anguish since a year and months ago, it certainly isn’t. I gave up chances of happiness (sorry you guys) for a dream of impossibility. Hopelessness.

p/s: if you want to tell me to forget him, sure, if you can prove me that you can forget eating or drinking. Don’t drink and eat, or watch TV, or pee ever again. Can you do that? If you can’t, fuck off okay.