I was planning to ask him (Edward Cullen) several questions, guided with some pictures. I would never exhibit them here because it will violate the copyright.
Here’s the interview:
Me: Hello Mr. Cullen. How are you today? Did you have your lunch already?
EC: hello, I’m fine and I don’t eat. Sorry.
Me: opps, sorry. How’s life going?
EC: I’m very busy, Bella is having her PMS, and I have extension on my hair. I accidentally cut it last couple of days when I was frustrated. Since my hair stops growing, I had to wear extension. Sigh. Oh yeah! I chased a cheetah yesterday. You know, it was aweeeeessooome! I ran and ran and ran.
Me: did you catch it?
EC: unfortunately, no. I saw a deer and I ate it instead. I was so thirsty!
Me: oh okay.. can you send me a picture of yourself?
EC: sure! *sending picture*
Me: okay thanks. did you photoshop it? you're sparkling.
EC: no i don't photoshop it. usually i do but i think you might want an original photo so i gave you that one. yeah i'm sparkling. i sparkle if i'm exposed to sunlight. Bella said i am *abnormally* beautiful. so i thought you may like it.
Me: yes I like it. hey, where’s your fang? I thought vampires are supposed to have fangs?
EC: nehh.. I did have fangs centuries ago. Its 21st century now, fang thingy are totally outdated.
Me: so how do you suck blood?
EC: I rip the skin. Like a tiger. That’s why I am called “The world’s best predator.”
Me: yeah. Like a tiger. So what do you do in your free time?
EC: I play baseball with my family. We all love baseball.
Me: can you shape-swift into bat? i mean, like all vampires can, you get me?
EC: i get you. yes i can, centuries ago. we had lived like centuries already and our bodies hardened. it's getting hard to shape-swift to a small-sized animal. i remember one night after playing with Alice, i shape-swifted into a bat. my whole body ached after that!
Me: okay.. talk about Bella.
EC: oh I am so in love with her. I waited for her like, decades! She is my soul mate. she has this one scent, that if i smell it, i will go crazy. its like i want to bite her. but i don't. because i am soooo in love with her. and weird thing is, i cannot read her mind. it made me think that she IS my soul mate.
Me: ookay.. what do you guys do when you’re dating? Do you watch movies?
EC: nooope. I brought her fly, climb the trees, and chat with her at the top of the trees. You tell me, how cool is that?
Me: super cool. So do you sleep in coffin?
EC: eww! I am so clean okay. Coffin sucks. It stinks. We don’t sleep in coffin. In fact, we don’t sleep at all. Last centuries maybe, but now, there are lots of night clubs you can go if you can’t sleep. Enjoy baby!
Me: oookay.. tell me about your house. Do you live in ghostlike castle? Spine-chilling mansion, perhaps?
EC: no. unfashionable! We live in a big-and-oh-so-comfy-but-without-a-bed house.
Me: okayyy.
EC: JESUS CHRIST my laptop is running out of battery! 30 minutes left! Ohhhh. I should've bought MAC.. this brand is outdated already.
Me: pardon? don’t you (vampires) are supposed to be afraid of gods? Like, garlic, crucifix?
EC: no we don’t. We are so immune to that already. Last centuries, we had encountered many (so-called) Van Helsing who made us leave with their crucifixes. We were tired of running from those Van Helsing so we made a pact with them. They won’t bother us anymore as long as we don’t feed on human’s blood. We are friends now. We even have a big antique cross in our house given by one of the Van Helsing’s descendants as a Christmas gift last couple of decades.
Me: don’t feed on human’s blood? Then, what blood are you feed on now?
EC: we feed on animal’s blood. I told you earlier, I was chasing a cheetah.
Me: I thought you were just playing with it.
EC: no, for God sake. We are vegetarian. Like human feed on tofu, we feed on animal’s blood. Of course, it’s not satisfying. We just ease our thirst. Err, I have to go now. I have a date with Bella. this time, she wants me bring her to the peak of Grand Canyon.
Me: okay. Grand Canyon? Isn’t it too far from your resident?
EC: no worries. I drive so fast. We can reach there in 30 minutes.
Me: okay, thank you for your time. Send my regards to Bella. Have a blast day.
EC: no problem. Thank you.
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We’ve seen Pride and Prejudice movie, Harry Potter, and now, Twilight. We’ve seen so many movies adapted from novels. When will be a movie adapted from Cate Tiernan’s novel? I want to see it. Whether its Balefire or Sweep/Wicca, I want to see it. I hope there will be a Sweep/Wicca adaptation. I need to see the Gìomanch . I am deeply in love a fiction character. Oh my.. I want to see Sgàth. I love.. I love… all about Magic. I read Magic. I want Magic! I love Gìomanch !!
this is Gìomanch. i take this picture using my camera from Sweep/Wicca book cover, Changeling. Volume 8. so cute. anyone know who is the real model for the book? i want~~
this is Sgàth. this is Sweep/Wicca's book 3, The Blood Witch.
p/s: if there's ever a Wicca/Sweep adaptation, please, any director, come and cast me as the heroin, Morgan. i want~~~~ or make me the stuntman for the kiss scene between Morgan and Gìomanch. theeehhee~
p/p/s: if you noticed, the 'outdated' words are abused in the interview, that's not me. that's Edward himself. he keep on saying that because he was born on last centuries. so he might want us to see how advanced he is now. so the best we can do to support him is ignore.
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