Emails

This is some emails between me and Jeremy. If you aren’t interested to read, just ignore. I was in high spirits so I’ve decided to put here. I have omitted some sentences though, just to make sure you wouldn’t vomit, if you read.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------





Hello love, what are you doing?

Sorry for the absence. I was too occupied to write, to you specifically. Been very busy, kannasai. Tell me how your days were, what have you been doing & watching. I’m pretty good in catching up. ;p

So I’m here in aussie, not as a tourist, merely a student, for the thousand times I remembered. What do you want me to get this time? Don’t ask for pictures seriously, I do not have time.

So this is brief.

Loves,
Jeremy

Xoxo


Hello sucker, I’m doing NOTHING as usual.

Apologize accepted again. Did I ask how your day was? Teeeheeee..

Yes, I won’t ask for pictures again. Ever, for that doesn’t matter anymore. Can you get me Stephanie Meyer’s New Moon? I’m dying to read it. You’re to blame. You’re the one who insisted.

And OMG! Now I’m asking. Where the hell have you been? Waited your email so long sucker. I trust your hotel, hostel whatever you call it, have a free connection. Write to me for god sake!

Reply fast sucker.

p/s: asshole, I liked your “Nessie” and have taken care of it since you gone, but then I watched this movie, Beyond Loch-ness. You stupid cow. You named me after an ugly creature. I thought the name was cute. KNN! Beware of swine flu darl. XD

p/p/s: be very careful. Please, please. Take care of yourself. –it’s quoted, lest you don’t realize. XD



Love,
Thanks for accepting.

Stephanie Meyer’s New Moon? Isn’t that the twilight sequel? What happened? I thought you didn’t like twilight. You ridiculed it severely. I thought Edward disgusts you? After you read the New Moon, what then? Read the whole books? I suggest you, don’t.

Xoxo.

p/s: nessie (the ugly creature) reminds me of you. You have mood swing very often, you bitch, you rant, you complain, sometimes I don’t know what you think. Yet I’m really contented with your attitude. really. And god, you did it again. How many time did you read the book, honestly? How can you memorize every little detail she wrote by just reading it once? Exactly, how can you possibly do that? You absorbed things quickly.

Dear suckiest man alive,

I beg to differ.

For one, I did not say I hate twilight NOVELs. I was saying Robert Pattinson wasn’t the right actor. I disagreed on how SM twisted the vampire mythology as I am very keen with vampires, you do know that. I didn’t like her idea of making Edward glittered when he was exposed under sunlight and I didn’t like her idea of vanishing vampires’ adorable fangs.

For two, I criticized it badly and that is one reason of why I wanted to read her (SM) peanut-sized brain more.

For three, I did not say her writing was absurd. At least not the entire book is covered by absurdities. The adjectives she used were useful too. I did not born to be intelligent, I worked, mind you. Besides, English wasn’t my first language so I had to put more efforts to master it.

p/s: I read it just once. I don’t know how but memorizing inane facts is my special talent. Alas, the contra is, I can easily forget too. Damn easy. I searched for my spectacles while wearing it. Don’t laugh.


Dear pigheaded girl alive,

Yeah but I still suggest, don’t. Do you want to know what you will find out when you read the book and it plausibly will cause you massive irritation as you are a real complainer?

Bella is pregnant, and the father is, unexpectedly Edward. You know that SM’s vampires are strong, right? So what do you expect when you carry in your womb an infant of half human, half vampire? Apparently, he is conducting caesarian, with his teeth. Yes, Edward himself is conducting it. Irritating enough?

And Jeremy has to go. I have paperwork. So reply this and do whatever you want to ease your anger. Or boredom. Tomorrow same time, 10 am in your time. okay.

Xoxo
Yours truly.


Dear fat cow,

Yeah it caused me something but irritated. I find it funny somehow. And, Edward did what?!! How on earth can he do that? Eh I thought our body won’t generate any more sperm after we died. How come Bella got pregnant? Is it possible that Edward’s venom caused this? Seriously, how?

Wow, SM must be an expert in Biology that is why she can come up with such brilliant idea. She somehow found out that sperm will remain generating even after our organs stop functioning. Edward doesn’t breathe, and sleep. But his brain works like ordinary human beings, and he has urges, and temptations. He jealous, he kissed, he snapped. That’s humans’ emotions.

Sometimes I wonder, are you really a male? Are you sure you’re not confused with your gender? How come you’re well informed than me? Duh. Of course you’re more educated than me. I mean, in novels, dvds, and whatever things that don’t attract boys.

Yeah, I should be going too.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isn't he annoying? Jeremy? Yes?

Anyone owned the New Moon? Can I borrow it for two days? I promised it’ll be just two days, or less. I won’t spend a dime on that junk. Contradiction! I just said the books aren’t junks, but ah well.. I want to study what other flaw the SM’s vampires have. I am mean. Yes, don’t judge me.



p/s: I’m dying to enroll in writing class! Anyone knows where to? In Brunei, obviously. Inform me.

p/p/s: I’m going to delete several of my previous entries. Don’t be sorry.