How To Avoid Kena Tetak.

Have you ever heard that Bruneians kena rompak when they shop in Miri? If you heard it decades ago, your jaws will be dropped to the floor (waves at omgz!) nowadays; it seems to be common liao. I heard that someone was robbed when she was in the car, holding her baby while her husband went to change some cash. The robbers broke her backseat window and grabbed her handbag. The handbag contained wallet with $200 approx inside, IC, hand phones, and keys. Luckily their passports weren’t inside the handbag. Anyway, isn’t it terrifies you? They went to the police but they cannot do anything. We also cannot do anything because it isn’t our turf.

So, today lesson is how to shop safely when you’re in Miri.

1. bring a bat. If you do not already own a bat, buy it. Baseball bat also can. If you are left alone in the car, hold the bat tightly. If there are any suspicious people approaching your car, you raise the bat. Raise it until the person can see you’re holding a bat. If anyone tries to rob you, you hit their head as hard as you could. Or, when you’re in the car and someone break your window, you open the door, (do not close the door, you can slow them with your door opens IF the robber is using motors, which usually they do.) and get out of the car as fast as you could. Then, hit them hard! Or, if you are too afraid to go out, hit their hands.

2. do not keep your handbag at the back. Do not show these uncivilized people that you’re wealthy. Do not wear so chic clothes or charmingly. Chic = expensive. Expensive = money. Money = can rob. Wear any hideous clothes if possible.

3. make sure that you park your car at the lot that can be seen by lots of people. In front of restaurants for instance. Err, I know sometimes these Miri peoples do not care (they indeed have very busy life to be concerned about your Lexus), but not all of them. If you’re lucky, someone will save your car from being robbed. Only if you’re lucky! And when you left your car, do not put your laptops or any expensive items visible. It lures these primitive people.

4. do not go alone to Miri. bring 4-5 people with you.

5. bring a dagger. Stab those people with no mercy!

6. do not use a luxurious car. Drive a very old-fashioned car. (Sabar saja mun branti tangah jalan..)

These are the only ways I can think of at the moment. If you are too afraid of being robbed, do not go to Miri. It’s better to save your money and fly to Singapore. Or go to Limbang and Labuan. The people there are more civilized than Mirian thugs. You are willing to die over your very cheap nuggets is it? So, yeah. Think wise. Love yourself.