Tell me maybe.

You asked me, what was the best moments we shared that I cherish the most?

My answer shocked you because you were expecting the obvious. You should know by now, better than anyone else, that in this matter, I am nothing if not unpredictable.

It's not when you kissed me on the lips for the first time, relieved that all that pented up feelings you're afraid to tell me were actually mutual. It's not when you peck me on the cheek to show your appreciation for the little things I do. It's not when you tell everyone that you're single but had a hard times explaining my pillows in your car.

My second favorite moment was actually that one time when you kissed my wrists and palms, and say you're sorry, on our fight which was - in my opinion - over nothing, just me being my usual self-bitch.

Do you know why?

It showed you can handle me. You have ungodly amount of patience to deal with me, when anybody would love to smack the back of my head. You would never raise your voice and tell me to suck it.

I love you for that. I love you. I could say it million times if you like, but it would never change the fact that I'm not in love with you. You told me that one of my best traits that you love is my loyalty. I'm fiercely loyal, I'd say it's a blessing, if it's for the right people. Unfortunately it's not, not anymore, so it has become my undoing. I have no idea when it will fade and I'm worried.

I hugged you with the intention of letting you go. You're too special, I don't deserve you. I told you this, and I tried to pull away.. But you.. You tighten your grip and you mumbled into my hair,
''no. Tell me maybe. It's all I need for now..''

And that was the best moment I love the most.