Pointless.

I grew up not with Spice Girl's songs, not Britney's, not Metallica's, not anyone's.

Ever since I can talk, I literally memorized these songs. Even though I didn't know their titles, the lyrics were like automatically (or magically, I'm not sure) embedded into my mind.

My favorites were (and still are, until now. Not in order):

Spring - Kita Ditakdirkan Jatuh Cinta



Kau dan aku sudah ditakdirkan bertemu..
Dan tiba-tiba kita jatuh cinta..
Ini semua sudah suratan Illahi
Dan kita harus hadapi kenyataan..

Data - Nyanyian Rindu Buat Kekasih



Tiada yang lain yang ku cinta, hanyalah padamu..
Tiada yang lain yang ku rindu, hanyalah dirimu..
Tiada yang lain yang ku mahu, hanyalah kasihmu..
Tiada yang lain yang ku puja, hanyalah dirimu..

Scoin - Rindu-Rinduan Jadi Kenangan..



Sakit hati ini bagai dihiris sembilu..
Sesak nafas ini bila ku mendapat tahu..
Kasih yang ku beri tak berharga..
Sayang, kau bermain dengan silang kata..
Hingga aku benar-benar jatuh cinta..
Sayang, sesungguhnya aku btak menduga..
Engkau insan yang tak boleh ku percaya..

Exist - Dirantai Digelangi Rindu



Kerna desakkan cintaku, dirantai digelangi rindu..
Sehinggakan diri sanggup mengalah kepadamu..
Dosa mu ku anggapkan debu, bisa diterbang angin yang lalu..
Ku sedia memaafkan mu, biar aku berparut seribu..

Arrow - Niat Hati Tak Nak Berpisah



Dah lama tak berjumpa, rindu rasa hati, ingin ku bertemu denganmu..
Biarpun hati ini menyatakan benci, namun hakikat kau masih ku sayang..
Mengapa kita berjumpa.. Dan mengapa kita bercinta..
Niat hatiku nak kekal lama hidup denganmu..


Niat hatiku tak nak berpisah.. Apakan daya jodoh tiada..
Kenangan demi kenangan menjelma di ingatan..
Sukarnya melupakan dirimu..
Rintihan demi rintihan menyeksa hidupku..
Aku derita keranamu..

It's cheesy as hell, I know.. But almost all Malay songs nowadays are craps.. I rather listen to the oldies all day, than listen to crap. These are (not past tense, mind you!) actually my dad's favorite songs.. When I was very young, the army used to have karaoke competition all the time. My brother and I used to sing with him when he practices. Now my brother loves Metallica-ish genre and embarassed to admit that he knows these songs. Prick. My dad is really good at singing so he kind of swept all the trophies.

I really should be sleeping. But ehh, I'm not working later. I'm... *cough* sick... *cough*.

So I sick-leaved. :)

God forbids, I'm not really sick though. I was just *ahem* pretending to be.

Additional ramble:

Do you remember the first time you think you love someone, but you actually don't? I'm not talking about my ex here, because I was truly in love with him. No.. I was talking about the time when you're very, very young and felt some kind of attraction towards someone and wanted to be with them all the time.. Have you ever? I have. I just noticed it. He's one of my childhood friend and we're still close to this day because he's my mum's friend's son. We were practically glued to each other back then. We still are.. Now he's 24 and for the first time, he likes a girl that isn't me. I kinda stopped talking to him for a while and then that's when I remembered that he'd also stopped talking to me too when I first had a boyfriend. I'm not jealous though.. Well, maybe a little bit. I just.. I'm not used to the feeling that he now care for another girl. It's not just me anymore. I told him this and he said I'm still his number one and no one can ever change that. Blah blah blah. It settled.

It still hurts. And it still sucks. And I'm still selfish. Pfft. This is why I will never accept anymore sibling. I'm a jealous bitch. I can barely stand it if my mum's (or anyone in my family for that matter) talking to my other little cousin. I'm gonna go like, "oy bitch, she's mine. Get your own mum." Or if any of my favorite brothers talk to our other cousins. I will go nuts, thinking they don't love and/or want me anymore.

I'm not normal. I have issue. Tell me something I don't already know.