Just Another Rant

I WANT A BOYFRIEND..

to say "i love you" to..
to say "i miss you" to..
to cuddle with..
to celebrate my birthday with..
to send a message to every night..
to send me a refreshing message every morning..
to ask me whether i feel okay when i'm sick..
to tell me what i do is wrong..
to tell me that i am loved..
to tell me that i'm special..

Why I don't Have One?

because..
i'm too mean..
i'm too self-centered..
i'm too uglypessimist..
i have a huge ego..

and

i want nobody, nobody but HIM.

sigh.



i think i'm sick.

i love imperfections.
i don't want what others want. i hate what others love, i love what others hate.

i think i have a thing for bald mysterious man who have good aim when shooting heart.

i think i'm sadistic.
i laugh when i see blood. i laugh at violence. i laugh when i see bloody scenes.

i think i like a man Hitman. =S

i don't understand why a hot bald mysteriously quiet guy like Hitman would fall in love that easy to a normal girl. he supposed to be in love with a girl that is in his league, that has a good aim, that can run fast, that can deploy a c4. not with a girl who cried when she heard shots, shrieked when she watched blood and ask for a foreplay when he's in a middle of gunfights.

i don't understand why a genius and again, mysteriously quiet guy like Zhan Shi De/007 would fall in love that easy to an awfully annoying girl like Tian Mo Xing/Lin Xiao Xing. not only she has loud piercing voice when she speaks, she is also terribly stupid. not to mention she is short when she stands beside him.

i don't understand why an arrogant and yes, mysteriously quiet guy like Fitzwilliam Darcy would fall in love that easy to a rebellious girl like Elizabeth Swan.

i don't understand why it's hard for me to be even his friend. i don't understand why it's hard for me to move on. i don't understand why i love him when i barely know him. i don't understand why mentioning his name makes me happy.

i don't understand what's the point of doing this entry.

p/s: don't ask me to "try to do what he loves." you mean skate? ah yes. i tried, and thanks to "what he loves", i could never wear short pants ever again. why?

BECAUSE THERE IS A BIG FUCKING UGLY SCAR AT MY KNEE.

what did i get in turn? nothing. so don't ask me to try it again. i don't want another ugly scar.