This is Funny.

Things To Do In An Exam When You Know You're Going To Fail It Anyways.

((khas ditujukan utk si mate yg kan exam inda lagi batah))

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "hey, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Be as vulgar as possible during the exam, make sure every sentence has every other word as a swear word or some sexual innuendo for example.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Masturbate.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E...."

34. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #__ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor or better yet; cross-dress

43. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

44. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

45. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

46. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

47. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

48. Bring cheerleaders, or bring pets

49. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

50. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

51. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc. . ).

52. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

53. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"

54. Bring a water pistol with you, or start a brawl in the middle of the exam

55. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

56. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

57. When you walk in, complain about the heat.

58. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

59. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

60. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. . . sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

61. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think. " Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

62. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx is a Terrible Teacher"

63. Call the teacher over. Repeatedly call him/her. When he answers, wait 5 seconds, then say "We're taking a test teacher!" (Kind of like Charlie the Unicorn "We're on a bridge Charlie!")

64. go into the exam room. sit down, put on a helmet with the blast shield down and tell the professer the Force will guide your pencil.

65. When the end of the test is near and the examiner starts to look at the clock. Wait until the the seconds hand reaches 6, start singing the Countdown theme tune.

66: leave the whole exam blank after writing THERE ARE ALWAYS MARKS FOR NEAT WORK

67. In the middle of the exam stand up and yell 'they’re coming for me!' and run out

68. Cough really loudly every 5 seconds

69. Make out (or go further than making out) with your boyfriend during the exam when the instructor tries to get you to stop, look the instructor in the eye and tell him/her in an annoyed tone "EXCUSE ME!!! We're a little busy here, GO AWAY . . . "

70. colour in the letters that have a closed of space i.e. a,,b, d,,e etc

71: On the side which says "blank page" write: "this page would be blank if this sign wasn't telling you that". Cover the entire page/paper. Or put movie quotes like "All work and no play makes a dull boy"-------------------------------------A few I thought up: Chris

72. Rickroll the entire exam, get a friend to blast out 'Never Gonna Give You Up' over the speakers.

73: Yell out that 'The Final Countdown' is now in your head and start singing the tune, see how many people catch on.

74. Yell out you lost The Game (As a result, anyone on this group automatically loses The Game, and everyone on the group is now playing it xD )

75: some time into the exam, get up, turn on a radio and start doing the safety dance, when told to stop say you can dance if you want to, if your friends don't dance then they are no friends of yours.

Bulan-Bulan-Bulan

Berikut disenaraikan kajian mengenai bulan dan sikap anda, yang telah dijalankan oleh Yang Berbahagia Dato’ Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah.

JANUARI
(adiku, edham, sama cece ni.)

-Bercita-cita tinggi dan orangnya serius, suka mendidik dan dididik.
-Sangat mudah melihat kelemahan orang dan suka mengkritik.
-Rajin dan setiap yang dibuat nampak keuntungan.
-Suka pada kecantikan, kekemasan dan teratur.
-Bersifat sensitif dan berfikiran mendalam.
-Pandai mengambil hati orang lain.
-Pendiam kecuali telah dirangsang. (cece ngam ni)
-Agak pemalu dan mempunyai daya tumpuan yang sangat tinggi.
-Mudah mendisiplinkan diri sendiri.
-Badannya sihat tetapi mudah diserang selsema.
-Bersikap romantik tetapi tidak pandai memperlihatkannya.
-Cukup sayang pada kanak-kanak. (adiku menandang kanak2)
-Suka duduk di rumah.
-Setia pada segala-galanya.
-Perlu belajar kemahiran bersosial.
-Sifat cemburu yang sangat tinggi (NGAM UTK ADIKU! PENJeLES MATI, ADA URG ADA IA)

MAC
(aku ni....... sama si surayani hahaha)

-Berpesonaliti menarik dan menawan. (HAHAHAHAHA)
-Mudah didampingi.
-Sangat pemalu dan pemendam rasa. (INDA NGAM)
-Sangat baik secara semulajadi, jujur pemurah dan mudah simpati.
-Sangat sensitif pada perkataan yang dituturkan dan alam persekitaran.
-Suka pada kedamaian. (aku suka yakuza, ynd, hooligan dan yg sewaktu dgnnya)
-Sangat peka pada orang lain.
-Sesuai dengan kerjaya yang memberi khidmat kepada orang lain.
-Tidak cepat marah dan sangat amanah. (ngamm..)
-Tahu membalas dan mengenang budi.
-Pemerhatian dan penilaian yang sangat tajam. (ngam)
-Kecenderungan untuk berdendam jika tidak dikawal. (ngam terutama arah si sayang..)
-Suka berangan-angan.
-Suka melancong.
-Sangat manja dan suka diberi perhatian yang sangat tinggi. (NGAM!)
-Kelam kabut dalam memilih pasangan. (NGAM juaaa.)
-Suka dengan hiasan rumahtangga.
-Punya bakat seni dalam bidang muzik.
-Kecenderungan pada benda yang istimewa dan baik.
-Jangan terlalu mengikut selera atau perasaan


MEI
(si sayang, si hafiz, si ejul)

-Keras hati & tegas. (syg ngam..)
-Kuat semangat & bermotivasi tinggi. (syg nda ngam..)
-Pemikiran yang tajam. (syg nda ngam..)
-Mudah marah apabila tidak dikawal. (syg nda slalu marah..)
-Pandai menarik hati & perhatian orang lain. (inda)
-Perasaan yang amat mendalam.
-Cantik dari segi mental & fizikal. (cantik.. haha)
-Tidak perlu dimotivasikan. (INDA!)
-Tetap pendirian, tetapi mudah dipengaruhi oleh orang lain.
-Mudah dipujuk.
-Bersikap sistematik (otak kiri).
-Suka berangan. (syg ngam)
-Kuat daya firasat memahami apa yang terlintas di hati orang lain tanpa diberitahu.
-Bahagian telinga & leher mudah diserang penyakit.
-Daya khayalan yang tinggi.
-Permikiran yang tajam.
-Pandai berdebat.
-Fizikal yang baik.
-Kelemahan sistem pernafasan.
-Suka sastera, seni & muzik serta melancong. (syg nda suka sastera, failed saja..)
-Tidak berapa suka duduk di rumah. (main bula saja jua ihh.)
-Tidak boleh duduk diam.
-Tidak punya ramai anak. (LOL!!!)
-Rajin dan bersemangat tinggi.
-Agak boros


JUN
(MATE!)

-Berfikiran jauh & berwawasan. (NGAM)
-Mudah ditawan kerana sikap baik. (AWUUU)
-Berperangai lemah lembut. (BKN PUNDAN, tapi ngam..)
-Mudah berubah sikap, perangai, idea dan mood. (nda ngam.)
-Idea yang terlalu banyak di kepala. (NGAM!)
-Bersikap sensitif. (NGAMMMMM)
-Mempunyai pemikiran yang aktif (sentiasa berfikir). (NGAM)
-Sukar melakukan sesuatu dengan segera. (awu. nahh. ahahaha)
-Bersikap suka menangguh-nangguh. (delay crew)
-Bersikap terlalu memilih & mahukan yang terbaik. (inda juaaa.)
-Cepat marah & cepat sejuk. (ngam.)
-Suka bercakap & berdebat. (inda.)
-Suka buat lawak & bergurau. (ngammm)
-Otaknya cerdas berangan-angan. (HAHAHAH sama lah tani..)
-Mudah berkawan & pandai berkawan. (awu mudah ih. manith)
-Seorang yang sangat tertib.
-Pandai mempamerkan sikap. (inda juaaa.)
-Mudah kecil hati. (ngam, senitip ih.)
-Mudah kena selsema.
-Suka berkemas.
-Cepat rasa bosan. (HAHAHA)
-Sikap terlalu memilih & cerewet.
-Kurang mempamerkan perasaan. (awu. pmalu dannn penakut.)
-Lambat untuk sembuh apabila terluka hati. (pernah ni.. uleh si sparepart crew)
-Suka pada barang yang berjenama. (BAPE, New Era, Canon, Element.. aku tambah. haha)
-Mudah menjadi eksekutif.
-Kedegilan yang tidak terkawal. (degil you ani..)
-Sesiapa yang memuji, dianggap musuh. Siapa yang menegur dianggap kawan. (aku nda jua puji kau slalu..)


NOVEMBER
(ahem. ahem.. ahem.......!)

-Banyak idea dalam perkara.
-Sukar untuk dimengertikan atau difahami sikapnya.
-Berfikiran kehadapan.
-Berfikiran unik dan bijak.
-Penuh dengan idea-idea baru yang luarbiasa.
-Pemikiran yang tajam.
-Daya firasat yang sangat halus dan tinggi.
-Sesuai jadi seorang doktor.
-Cermat dan teliti.
-Personaliti yang dinamik.
-Sifat yang berahsia, pandai mencungkil dan mencari rahsia.
-Banyak berfikir, kurang bercakap tetapi mesra.
-Berani, pemurah setia dan banyak kesabaran.
-Terlalu degil dan keras hati.
-Apabila berkehendak sesuatu, akan diusahakan sehingga berjaya.
-Tak suka marah kecuali digugat.
-Mudah ambil berat terhadap orang lain.
-Pandai muhasabah diri.
-Cara berfikir yang lain dari orang lain.
-Otak yang sangat tajam.
-Pandai mendorong diri sendiri.
-Tidak hargai pujian.
-Kekuatan semangat dan daya juang yang sangat tinggi apabila berkehendak sesuatu.
-Cuba sampai berjaya.
-Badan yang sasa.
-Kasih sayang dan emosi yang sangat mendalam dan romantik.
-Tidak pasti dengan hubungan kasih sayang.
-Suka duduk d irumah.
-Sangat rajin dan berkemampuan tinggi.
-Amanah, jujur, setia dan pandai berahsia.
-Tidak berapa berjaya dalam mengawal emosi.
-Bercita-cita tinggi.
-Perangai tidak dapat diramal dan mudah berubah-ubah

Congratulashon Dayat.

Congratulashon. (skill curi)

Our Second Paspot To Fame Victim.

masuk MTV ni. mcm si Zul F.

tapi pleasee. whatever you do, dont quit your job. our local music industry ni alum cukup mantap untuk dijadikan sumber periuk nasi yg utama. btw, kan betanya. mentuka atu bayar bulan2 lagi ka? atau ia bagi saja free, tarus? atu siuk.. btw, share2 eh fitness zone ah. TAMPAT C CHUN JUA TU FOR GOD SAKE! walaupun ia kaya udah, aku mau jua contribute duit dsana. ahaha apakan.

balik ceta P2F ani. so apa plan dayat abis ani? jangan plan kan sue aku okay. just kidding saja ni. just for laugh. untuk ketawa ganya. untuk girak2 gala version dusunnya.

dayat, nasihatku ah.. jangan tah bangga mun pemes udah ani.. mun ada peminat mau autograp, layan bisai2.. mun ada peminat mau bgambar, layan.. mesti dayat blajar cara CPR ni. mana tau ada peminat yg pengsan time dayat mlintas. dapat jua selamatkan. so that nama dayat appear arah media, saying that "Top Singer, DAYAT saved a fan."

lau dayat kan mengembangkan sayap ke dunia lakonan, aku sokong 100 %. drama brunei.. legend of awang kamaruddin. yeoh. or melebarkan empayar ke dunia bisnes? saham perhaps? jual jagung or lada? umm. what about album? please please jangan buat album yg dalamnya ada dua-tiga lagu saja. tapi versionnya macam2.. unplugged lah, acoustic lah, heavy metal-ic lah. lapas atu jual dgn harga yg telampau. nda laku tu.. album ani, dlmnya ada byk TRACKS.. buat pelancaran album sama promotion jua okay. ada kami datang tuu. tapi takutku wa kan beimpit2 ah. sanak kali ahh.

okay lastly, enjoy the money, enjoy the car, enjoy your life. Congratulashonnnnn.

p/s: aku cilok gambar. sorry. izinkan yerr. congratulashonn.

My Lyric,

the original lyric called Just A Friend by Too Phat ft VE. then i modified it a bit, to tease my DEAR mate since he loves too phat so muchiee. i'm going to give my lyric a name.

here is it:
title: Spare Part Victim
composer: Nes
vocal: Areef ft Lil' Myzah

Verse 1 ( Areef )

have you ever met a gurl that you thought was perfect
you waited for her years 'cause you know she worth it
here's a lil' story bout this gurl i knew
since wayback in middle school sometime in ‘07
met her at perayaan and turned out to be a friend’s friend.
gorgeous flawless face enthralled me
ask for her email and confessed my feeling
named started with S, she took it well yet aloof
she the type who ask people repeated questions
“how are you, whatchu duin” the only she knows.
But no matter what I still ache for her.
plead her picture and she gave me years later
Nevermind, cos I’m blinded by love.
we almost never meet but my feelings were ardent.
One day I fail to remember the date.
little S had me flabbergasted.
changed the nick said she loves me
after years waiting, shock’s major understatement.
done nothing but notified my bestest friend.

Chorus 2X

she said, be careful my dear friend.
Again and again,
She’s acting strangely, possibly conniving
Just be careful.

Verse2 ( Myzah )

so I took her word
great friend whose remarks trustworthy
she’s nothing if not pragmatic, but awfully gullible
thought just wait a little time wouldn’t kill
'cause I waited long enough fo sho
thinking to know her more, to understand her well
asked for her Friendster account and she said,
just created the account fo me
suppose she might be really loves me,
even so she still treated me frostily,
read her Friendster profile, meticulously
found out that apparently,
little S has someone she’s waiting for
positive its not me, completely devastating
updated my dear friend then she said,
I told you so in her way
I’m just an object, a hostage to fortune
For the little ho ‘ass’
To trigger a SOB’s jealousy

Bridge ( both myzah and areef)

You know, I know what you been up to
(sparepart crew~)
I know you know what you been up to
(sparepart, mechanics~)

Chorus

Verse 3 ( areef )

I’ve recovered and moved on
I'll tell ya when, my final year in ‘08
this hunny new in skool I saw
call her pinky and she’s a real shorteyy
pink bag, gal cute eyes with a big black files
and white blouse seemed whiter than everybody else's
just like them ads on tv man this hunny was the nicest
with the help of a witty hitherto solely friend
found out eventually her email address
she said her name was little F
alas she unveiled that she has her own fairy
nevermind, at any rate she’s honest
we remained friend though have a little feeling for her
an incredible gal emerged from nowhere
a friend of a friend, baby IZZ we called
hoping she’s the one, no sparepart crew
chronicles of my life, still goin, aren’t end just yet

Understanding Bruneians. (part 1)

You know you are Bruneian:

1. You 'miss call' instead of calling or sending sms.
(TRUE!!! mcm, cubatah msg/call tarus ah.. bgi sasak bah MAIN MISSCALL ani!)
2. You always say "kapih ku.. bila terima/keluar gaji/overtime/elaun ah?"
(nda tau ah..)
3. You park your car as close as possible to your destination area.
(ani ngam. biar tawaf 10 kali tu.. mau jua dakat2)
4. You speak Malaysia if you meet Malaysian, speak Indonesia ifyou meet Indonesian.. and so on.
(ngam. besa, ngada2. cubatah, drg dbrunei atu, biar tia durang yg blajar bahasa kitani. NAPA PULANG TANI ISKI BLAJAR BAHASA DURANG??)
5. You are asked to go to a "meeting" but actually you will only be "listening".
(nda tau.)
6. You go to someone's wedding, you give money using an envelope and put your name on it or if you think you don't give enough you use a blank envelope.
(bagi2 ni andang tipikal urg brunei. undebatable.)
7. Indo mee is your staple food and Ayamku is your fastfood.
(ngam! or, pop mee.)
8. The term 'balik kampung' is almost not applicable.. since you can 'balik kampung' everyday.
(bukan jauh pun. nda jua smpai abis minyak mentuka..)
9. Motorcyles and bicycles are not your transport, they are your sport.
(tapi masani urg gilakan motor. okay?)
10. When you see local tv camera around you during the day, then at night you will watch local news... and hoping to see yourself on television.
(or when you see a local tv camera, you would run away. BRUNEI SIOK!!!)
11. You drive your car on wavy and potholed road.
12. You receive official news faster by mean of "mouth" than by "written".
(nyibuk. NGAM! terutama yg jahat2..)
13. You like electronic products from Japan.
(ani undebatable. i mean, who doesnt? cool kali ahh.. bukan brunei ada laptop punn.)
14. If you have the chance to call a radio show and before you areasked to hang-up, you say 'boleh minta putarkan lagu?'
(slalu ni eh. utk si syg lah. utk si bibi lah. utk si alai lah.)
15. You are in BIG debts and refuse to pay the lenders and yet still drive a CLK and live in a mansion.
16. You wear baju kurung with large katoks and maniks all over.
(the best example, p2f or anugerah2 yg nda berprestij. haha.)
17. You are loud and speak in melandih way.
(utk yg gatal sja.)
18. You and the whole family have the same car plate numbers.
(aii. ani, no comment. si XXX sma jua catu. suma jua keta drg sama plate hahaha.)
19. You spend your $$$$$ on your wedding even though you are broke.
(memories jua tu. nda pa2. dimaafkan ahaha)
20. You become Akademi Fantasia fanatics.
(aku NDAAA!)
21. You know most of the people here - "eh si anak si anu eh saudarasi blabla".
(because brunei is a small country.)
22. You drive to the shop next door even though the shop is only 100meters away (except maybe in Kampung Ayer).
(awueh.)
23. Every year, since the 80s until last year, you don't want not tomiss HM's Birthday Titah (because you are hoping that HM will increaseyour salary).
(nda!)
24. When you want to get some service from the government agencies,you will find your saudara first.
(mesti ada 'urg dalam' kali ah..)
25. If something goes wrong, you will say that one of the datos, pehins is your relative (or at least they know you).
(nda tau.)
26. You cannot live without Brudirect's HYS.
(what the heck is brudirect? hahaha)
27. You give you children super long name.
(namaku simple jua.)
28. You rush to a new shopping mall just to beat everybody else eventhough it's just another Hua Ho.
(macam GIANT aritu. smpai nunggu2 dluar. bebaris2.)
29. You wave your hand while driving to other drivers that you know.
(polite~)
30. You are able to pay (or not) for one or two amahs who are most likely an Indonesian or a Filipino.
(pmalas bah. taunya kn makan saja.. yatah LAMPUH TU DANG..)
31. You are ok to be fat.
(living in paradise. of course lah. trutama urg bandar okay..)
32. You are a busy body with other peoples' news, especially the badness, and you think your responsibility is to know and to spread it around.
(yes. terutamanya dlm hal2 yg cani: anak si anu betian nda belaki bah. like, WHAT THE FCK? biar tia bah. bukan jua ya ngacau.)
33. Your friends get married on the same day and you don't know who to go to.
(dont want to miss the good times.)
34. You like to stare at phones for 24 hours and chat on MSN.
(and friendster, and facebook, and many more.)
35. You say "Mun paham bisai" (this needs no further explaination) .
(duhh. =.=")
36. You have to wear 'cool' attire everywhere, even on holidays.
(nda lagi tdapat baju mihir.. cuci mentuka pun pakai baju lawa.)
37. You add "BUI" on each sentence.
(ko pikir ko cool la pakai catu?)
38. You think exercising, being hyper active, competition are for little kids.
39. You can't type or spell properly properly, example "hw r u? hy my nme s si org brnei"
(brigali. like, nda kamu kana ajar ka dskulah?! tolong deh. pakai spelling!)
40. You add "me & you" on your converstations with your girl mates.
(ani lagi brigali. damn!)
41. You listen to Pelangi FM.
(ani aku pun dgr kdg2. sal siuk. tapi time c aliff ja okay? yg lain, FAKE!)
42. You think fake Von Dutch products are the best.
(aku nda minat VON DUTCH!)
43. You are especially racist to Indian workers.
(slalu ni. tkaling2. kaling ja majal. napa kan tu? biar tia bh.)
44. You would rather go to shopping malls than hanging out at parks,chaving a picnic with your friends.
(the mall, byk remaja2 yg hang out sana. nada tempat lain ka BUI?)
45. You have 'candas' in your house.
(ani utk mkn ambuyat. yummy!)
46. You read this blogsite because all your friends are reading it and you don't want to be left behind.
(okay, dont stop reading my blog because i have too many critics. kritikan yg membina ahaha)
47. You rush to get a $99 handphone not caring about the limited features coz you think anything cheap is a bargain.
48. You have two handphones - one for DST and the other for BMobile(for one month and then switch off one or the other).
49. You always try to runding the policemen who caught you speeding.
(runding jua lah. or you try to get help from URG DALAM.)





sorry if this post is offending. but face the fact that most of these points are so true. it meant to be a humor pulang. but yeah, if you dont like it, dont click my page ever again. remember, this blog is mine. i can write/post anything i like. you dont like, you dont read lah.

okay?

Some cute 10 jokes:

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An old man was walking along the road.
A car stopped near him and a got out of it.
He asked the old man, Sir, shall I give you a lift?
The old man replied, No need I live on the ground floor

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two pupils were fighting outside the examination hall.
The teacher came out and said:
T : Why r u fighting?
S : Teacher, he left his answer sheet blank
T : Why should that bother you?
S : I too left my answer sheet blank
T : So
S : The teacher will think that we have copied from each other.

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A : B, which is this crop in the farm?
B : This is cotton from which clothes are made.
A : Then when will shirts and pants grow on it?

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Teacher : Why are you late?
Student : Because there was a sign which tells School ahead, go slow

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A : Why have you kept the newspaper in the fridge?
B : Because it is full of HOT NEWS.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Professor : What three words are the most used by college students?
Student : I dont know.
Professor : Precisely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Conductor : Why are you getting an extra ticket?
Passenger : If I lose one ticket, the other would save me.
C : What would you do if you lose both?
P : I am not a fool. I have my bus pass.
C : ????????

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lady : The design of the sari is excellent. But the colour is not good.
Salesman : Dont worry mam. The colour will disappear after the first wash.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Teacher : I killed a person, convert this sentence into future tense.
Student : The future tense you will go to jail.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mother : Reena, tell me why does a bear have its body covered with hair?
Daughter : Actually Mom, there is no barber in the forest.

I Love Singlishhh

i love singlish. vely funny liao.. used to talk like this before. you read ah.

Little Led Liding Hoot (Singlish ver)

Once upon a time hor, got one girl little led liding hoot. She want to go to Ah Mah's house. Morning alleady she go out one, she got take come one basket to put flower. She don wan to walk long-long so go take shot cut. Wah!!! she dono got one animal follow her one hor! She happy-happy walk until she come to Ah Mah house.

"Ah Mah! Ah Mah! I come, open the door leh?" she talk
Then Ah Mah also talk back,
"Come in lah I never close one"
Little Led Liding Hoot open the house and go inside door.....
"oh, solly solly...."
open the door and go inside the house, she got see her Ah Mah on top of the bed. She go ask Ah Mah.
"AH Mah, how come your eye vely big one hor?"
"So I can see you maahhhhh!!!" Ah Mah say back.
"Ah Mah, how come your ear vely long one?"
"So vely easy to hear you one laah!!!!"
"Ah Mah, how come......."
"Aiyaa!!!! SO many question one ah you.... never die before heh?"
"Solylah Ah Mah, I dono mah that's why I ask".
"What soly-soly! Now I want to eat you, I not Ah Mah, I animal one you know................."

Wah! Little led liding Hoot vely scared one, she scleam vely loud but late alleady, the animal alleady eat her. She now inside stomach one. Suddenly got one people, cut wood one, go inside the house. He want to save Little Led Liding Hoot, he go and cut the animal stomach and take out everything, but he too late, Little Led Liding Hoot become shit alleady............


Miss Singapore

One of the main reasons why in recent years the Singapore Government has always ensured that their Miss Universe representative were of tertiary level education or higher was because of the following incident which occurred not too many years ago. It is the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and the 3 finalists, Miss USA, Miss Malaysia and Miss Singapore are being asked 3 simple questions:

MC: The first question is name me an electrical appliance starting with "L"

Miss USA: Lamp
Miss Malaysia: Light bulb
Miss Singapore: LADIO

Judge: No, no, Radio does not start with the letter "L"

MC: I am going to give you 2 more chances;
The next question is name me an animal starting with the letter "L"

Miss USA: Lion
Miss Malaysia: Leopard
Miss Singapore: LABBIT

Judge: No, no, no, Rabbit does not start with the letter "L"
MC: I am going to give you one last chance, if you answer this question incorrectly, you are disqualified.
Name me a fruit starting with the letter "L"

Miss USA: Lemon
Miss Malaysia: Lychee
Miss Singapore, with full of confidence, smiles and says: LULIAN !

This is not the end of the story, the Judge consulted the board of judges to determine if Miss Singapore should really disqualified; and they decided that since Miss Singapore was having as many problems with the letter "L", the decided to give her another chance.

Judge: OK, the final question is name me a human anatomy starting with the letter "L"

Miss USA: Lung (applause)
Miss Malaysia: Liver (even more applause)
Miss Singapore: LAN CHEOW ! (you know, in hokkien, lan cheow is some kind of genital)

Judge: ?????????!!!!

Numbers

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10 .

Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again back to 1.

This was what he came up with...

1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run so fast until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6 . He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1 .

Without the numbers : translation (if you dont get it)

One day I go to climb up a tree outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and fall down. The man rush out and wanted to fight with me. I run so fast until I fall sick and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a knife and try to stab him. Then God he run away. So, I put the knife back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am sick . He said fine , tomorrow also no need to come back for work. He also asks me to climb a tree and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice to him but I don't know what he wants .